


Fallen

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-13
Updated: 2008-10-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8825182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen's a second year senior and Jared's a fifteen year old junior, and Jensen's tutor. Jensen isn't a stupid boy, he just has too much to deal with at home to worry about school. What happens when Jared goes home with Jen one night?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

So, the great thing about vodka? Pour it into Coke or Pepsi, even water, and it can pretty much go unnoticed. Jensen lit a cigarette and flinched as it pressed on his split-lip. He switched it to the other side of his mouth and took a drag. As he exhaled he pulled the twenty four ounce bottle of Gator Aid out of his pocket. He took a gulp and didn't even feel the burn of alcohol down his throat.

 

He pulled in another drag and blew out blue gray smoke rings as the track team ran around the track near the bleachers under which he was lurking. Well, not so much 'lurking' as hiding. Not that he would admit that, not even to himself. It was his first day of senior year.

 

Well, actually, it was his _second_ first day of senior year. He'd missed so many classes last year that they'd held him back. And given him a damned tutor. 

 

Like he fuckin' needed one. He rolled his eyes and tossed the half smoked cigarette to the ground and stubbed it out under his toe. He drank some more spiked Gator Aid and then twisted the cap back on and pushed it into his pocket. 

 

He slowly made his way to the guidance office. Some kid was studying at the table and he rolled his eyes. He turned to the receptionist. "Ackles, Jensen. I'm here for my tutor?"

 

"Okay, Jared?" The kid looked up, "Yes, ma'am?"

 

"This is Jensen, the student you'll be tutoring." Jensen sighed, closed his eyes for a moment and then walked over.

 

"Hi!" The kid said cheerfully and held out his hand, "I'm Jared."

 

"I heard." Jensen sat down and the kid frowned, pulling his hand back. "How old are you anyway?"

 

"Fifteen."

 

"So you're what, a freshman, sophomore?" Jensen scoffed. He might be a second year senior, but come on, people.

 

Jared shook his head, "I skipped a grade, I'm a junior."

 

Jensen looked at him, "Oh, you're the kid."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"You transferred last year, right? Decided not to skip up another grade."

 

"Oh... Yeah, that's me."

 

"Why didn't you want to jump a grade?" Jensen asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. 

 

Jared smiled, "Thought one was enough."

 

Jensen looked at him for a moment, and then had to smile back. "Shit," he muttered quietly as he did, and pulled his split lip back into his mouth. He felt the tang of blood on his tongue and sucked until he couldn't anymore. He looked up and caught the kid staring at him, and growled, "What?"

 

"What happened to your face?"

 

Jensen would have laughed if it hadn't been so damned depressing. "Don't tell me you haven't heard the stories about me, kid; I'm the first thing they warn you kids about."

 

The kid nodded, "I heard you get in fights all the time. Got expelled last year?"

 

Jensen shook his head, "Nope. Never expelled. Not stupid enough to fight somebody on school property."

 

"So you aren't gonna deny the fighting?" the kid looked appalled.

 

Jensen waved at his face, "Why bother?"

 

The kid nodded thoughtfully, "I suppose so."

 

Jensen took a drink of Gator Aid, and smirked when the kid looked surprised. "What?"

 

"Nothing... I just... Gator Aid? Really?"

 

Jensen grinned, and then licked his split lip, "Does a body good, kid."

 

\-----

 

Jensen was under the bleachers again, smoking again... Drinking again. It was lunch time, so no one really cared, hell... No one cared anyway.

 

"Hey," he heard a voice quietly from behind him. And Jensen was proud of himself, he hadn't shown surprise. He turned and raised a brow, "What're you doing down here, kid?"

 

The kid shrugged, "Heard that this is where you go."

 

"And?"

 

"And? And nothing."

 

"What made you think I'd want you here?"

 

The kid shrugged, and then smiled, "Can't imagine why you wouldn't."

 

Jensen felt his brow quirk higher, "Oh, really?"

 

And all of a sudden, the kid was unsure. "I... Well... Uhhh..."

 

"Want a drink?" Jensen tossed his bottle of spiked Gator Aid at the kid.

 

"Thanks," he sounded a little confused and then he took a drink. "Ugh!" he spat it out, "I didn't know Gator Aid could go bad."

 

Jensen smiled and sighed at his once again bleeding lip, "I don't know that it can. That has just a splash of something extra."

 

The kid looked at it like it was poison and handed it back. Jensen took a gulp. 

 

"Something extra?"

 

"Mmhmm, call it a splash of Skyy." Jensen winked.

 

"Um, okay then." Jared sat down on the ground and pulled out a text book.

 

"Are you kidding me?" 

 

"What?"

 

"You are not allowed to study in my presence."

 

"I'm not."

 

"Oh, really."

 

The kid shook his head, "I'm quizzing you."

 

Jensen snorted, "Fuck that."

 

"I'm your tutor. Why did you sign up if you didn't want one?"

 

"I didn't sign up," Jensen said.

 

"What?"

 

"They forced one on me, thought I needed one as a second year senior."

 

"Well, do you?" Jare- The kid asked, closing the book. 

 

"Not so much. I just missed too many days last year."

 

"What?"

 

"Miss thirty days you're fine, miss thirty one you have to take the year over."

 

"Oh... If you weren't expelled... How the hell did you miss so many days?"

 

Jensen clenched his jaw and licked the the cut in his lip, "You really have to ask?"

 

"No, I guess not."

 

"Yeah," Jensen said quietly, "No one ever does." He shook his head and stubbed his cigarette out and walked away, leaving the kid confused on the ground under the bleachers.

 

\-----

 

Jensen walked up the drive way to his house right after school, hiding his cigarettes under the stairs. His sister was already locked in her room and fed by the time their father got home. He pulled the plate from the micro wave and set it on the dining room table as he came in.

 

"Meat loaf, Jensen? Again?"

 

Jensen clenched his jaw, "Sorry, sir. I didn't go to the store so I had to make due with what we had."

 

"I didn't ask for excuses, Jensen." Jensen swallowed thickly. "Where's my beer, Jensen?"

 

Jensen clenched his jaw again, knowing what was coming. "We don't have any left, sir."

 

And there was the fist. 

 

Jensen fell against the counter as his father's hand connected with his cheek. As the tears pricked the back of his eye lids, he thanked god that he hadn't sworn this time. Daddy dearest really didn't like when he swore.

 

"Get out of my sight."

 

Jensen nodded before his father changed his mind. He walked as quickly as he could up the stairs, and headed straight for the bathroom. His eye was already swelling. "Fuck," he swore quietly.

 

"Jensen...? Is that you?" Mackenzie poked her head out.

 

"Yeah," he whispered back to his sister. She quietly opened her door and listened for a moment before sneaking into the bath room and locking them both in. "Oh, my god... Jensen."

 

Jensen sighed and sat down on the closed toilet lid.

 

She ran the water as cold as she could and held a towel under it, soaking up the cool liquid and then pressing it to his freshly blacken eye.

 

"Hold that on there," she murmured, sitting down on the lip of the tub.

 

"Thanks, 'kenzie," he muttered, wishing he could do something to make her feel less weak, make him feel less weak.

 

"Jensen... You need to get out of here, Josh did-"

 

"Yeah, Kenz, and I'll never forgive him for it. He knew what would happen and he left."

 

"Can you really blame him?"

 

Jensen thought for a moment, "I guess not... But I'm not going to leave you alone with him."

 

"Jensen... Dad loves me."

 

"Yeah, he loved me, too." Mackenzie frowned, took the towel away, re-wet it and then handed it back. He looked at his twelve year old sister and wished she'd never had to deal with any of this. "All I know is, until I know you'll be safe, I'm not leaving you." Mackenzie's eyes started to water, and Jensen patted his leg, "Com'ere, midget." Mackenzie sniffed and slid onto his lap.

 

"Look, Kenz, you know that he's been messed up since mom died, we all have been, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let him hurt you. I can handle anything he can dish out. You can't. And even if you think you can... I'm not willing to find out."

 

Mackenzie sniffed and hugged him, "I love you, Jensen."

 

Jensen clenched his jaw, and hugged her back as best he could with one hand occupied with his eye. "Love you too, Kenz." They hugged for a moment longer and then Jensen pulled back, "Don't you think it's time to go to bed? Wait, did you do your home work?"

 

Mackenzie rolled her eyes, "I'm almost done, and then I'll go to bed, okay?"

 

Jensen nodded, "Don't stay up too late. And tuck a blanket along the bottom so he can't see the light, okay?" 

 

She nodded, knowing the drill. "I'll lock the door, too," she said quietly. And Jensen nodded. He'd made Josh buy them all door locks when their dad had started hitting them after hitting the bottle. Jensen waited until Mackenzie locked her door and tucked the blanket along the bottom before putting the towel back on the rack to dry.

 

The cold water had helped... a little. The swelling had gone down a little, but he definitely had a black eye. "Fuck."


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen woke up at five thirty on the dot the next morning, and groaned as he turned over and snapped off the alarm. He laid there for a moment, listening, and then swung his feet to the ground. He pulled a pair of jeans from his hamper, and a faded black t-shirt with a cracked AC/DC logo. He sniffed them both, shrugged and unlocked his door and padded quietly down the hall to the bathroom. He sighed and shook his head at his relfection.

 

His fat lip wasn't as fat, the split wasn't as deep, and his black eye had spilled slightly onto his cheek where his father's fist had actually connected with his face. That kid was going to have questions, no doubt- Why did he care?

 

No one else did... Then, he'd pretty much given his dad the rights to hit him. 

 

Right after his mom died, he'd become a really angry kid, picking fights with guys twice his size, and kicking their ass. That was the first time his dad had hit him. And he'd deserved it... Hadn't he?

 

Jensen shook his head, why was he taking a trip down memory lane? He had better things to do.

 

He quickly stripped and pulled the shower curtain around him and then turned on the water. It was too cold, but that was fine. The icy water pounded down on is flesh and he hissed and then grabbed the bar of soap and ran it over his chest and across his hair. It was a military style shower. Get in, get clean, get out. Jensen quickly lathered, set the soap down and then rinsed. He shut the water off and shook the water off his head before pulling the curtain back. There was no steam on the mirror as he pulled a towel off the rack and patted his body down before scrubbing his hair. He glanced again at his reflection and then pulled his jeans on and the t-shirt over his head.

 

He listened for another moment, and hearing nothing, opened the bathroom door and walked downstairs. He opened the fridge and swore to himself. There was literally no food in there. He pulled in breath and rubbed a hand over his tense forehead. _Shit._ He licked his lips and cast a rabid glance across the kitchen. Jensen could feel himself starting to go into shock. It happened every once in a while. Mostly when daddy dearest was on a punching binge and he hadn't had a cigarette in a while and he knew that something was about to piss him off like whoa. 

 

He pulled in a sharp breath and felt his left bicept twitch. He pulled in another one and scanned the room again. He reached under the sink and pulled out a bottle of cuervo and took a gulp. It burned like a mother fuck and he could feel the fear in his throat still, but he took another pull and it numbed it a little. He tipped the bottle again, swallowing another pull. He hissed and screwed the top back on, tucking the bottle back in the cabinet. Okay, he should remember that -Put back a couple doubles before six AM and you pretty much went numb.

 

He chuckled, and started rifling through the cupboards. There really was nothing he could make for breakfast. He walked quickly upstairs and went into his room, locking the door behind him with out another thought, He swiftly walked across the room and puched his window open, walking across the roof over the wrap-around porch. He knocked on Mackenzie's window, and she stired slightly. He knocked again, just as quietly. She pulled her eyes open and jolted a bit, she rubbed her eyes and knelt on her bed, unlocking and pushing the window open.

 

"Jensen?" she asked, seeing the coldness in his eyes.

 

"Sweetie, we have no food for breakfast. I know you normally get up when Dad leaves at seven, but I don't want to be around when he gets up and I'm not leaving you, okay? I need you to get dressed and meet me in my room, I need to get shoes and stuff."

 

She nodded, "Okay, I'll be over in a few. Let me just get my stuff together."

 

Jensen nodded back and swung his leg over her bed's head board, climbing back out her window. She smiled at him and he nodded once more and walked back across the roof to his room. He swung his feet onto the army trunk under his window and sat down on it, pulling on a pair of socks and then his combat boots. It went a long way towards the badass image wearing a pair of shit kickers like Doc Martens. He scanned the room and swore. He hadn't really thought this through. Where the hell were he and Mackenzie going to go at six AM? He walked over to his desk and the untouched pile of notebooks he'd had since tenth grade at least. He looked at the loose cargo pants he'd worn yesterday, and kinda wished he had another pair so he could smuggle a drink back in. Oh, well. 

 

He rolled up the top notebook and crammed it into his back pocket, the denim straining against his flesh. He tucked a blue pen behind his ear and turned to see Mackenzie climbing in through the window. "Ready?"

 

She nodded and closed the window behind her. Jensen never locked it -just in case she ever needed to get out of her room and go somewhere safe.

 

Jensen opened his door and paused, listening. The house was quiet. He waved Mackenzie out in front of him and used the key around his neck to lock his door. He gently guided Mackenzie down the stairs, and left her by the front door. "Okay, I'm going to leave him a note, tell him we need money for food... I'll be right back, but if you hear him get up, I want you to leave. I'll meet you around the corner."

 

She nodded, and once again Jensen was hit by an over-whelming feeling of dispair. How the hell was he going to get her out of here? Get her some place safe? He shook his head and walked away. Thinking thoughts like that was not helping anything. He pulled the note pad off the fridge and scrawled a quick note. He re-read it and glanced towards the front door. Mackenzie was staying put... He swallowed the sick feeling that rose up in him when he thought of her standing there, half asleep at six in the morning so they could leave with out having to deal with their drunk father... He swallowed that feeling along with another pull of tequilla. 

 

He quickly tucked the bottle away and walked out to his sister. She looked at him, and he opened the front door without a word, letting her step out in front of him and then locking it once more behind him. She sighed as he grabbed the cigarettes from under the stair where he had stashed them. 

 

He quickly shook one out and lit it, he closed his eyes in pleasure when the nicotine hit his blood stream. "Don't smoke."

 

"I won't; I'm not stupid," she replied.

 

Jensen quirked a brow, and exhaled. "True enough."

 

They walked slowly down the street, and conversation lulled. He looked over at her, and tossed his cigarette butt into the gutter. She tugged at her backpack. Jensen sighed, like it was some huge chore, "Give it here."

 

Mackenzie looked up at him, "Really?"

 

He rolled his eyes, "Give it."

 

She squealed and pulled off her pack, handing it to him. He slung it over one shoulder, "What the hell do you have in here?"

 

"My math book, english and social studies book," she ticked off with her fingers. 

 

"Are they trying to break your back or something?"

 

Mackenzie laughed, "Probably."

 

Jensen rolled his eyes and chuckled. They were still walking aimlessly. At least, he was. He was pretty sure that 'kenzie thought that he had some plan in mind. He glanced around and realized that they were heading in the general direction of the park. It wasn't the greatest place to go, but it was better than nothing, so he let them continue on their way. 

 

As they turned another corner, he shook his head as he saw some runner bent like a jack-knife as he streched. He never really understood the desire to get up at the crack of dawn and go running, it just refused to compute. They walked past him and as they did, Mackenzie walked just a little closer to Jensen. 

 

Jensen wasn't sure if he should aprove of that or not. Sure, 'jack-knife' was a stranger, and she should be cautious, but at the same time he knew that it was because of his father that she acted that way around people. Mackenzie had always been shy, but after their dad went skitzo, she really hated being around anyone. He supposed her thought process was logical in some twisted sense -if she couldn't trust her father, the man that was supposed to love her unconditionally, why would she reach out to a stranger?

 

"Hello, Kitty? No wonder why you don't carry your backpack around at school."

 

Jensen swallowed and straightened his shoulders. Mackenzie froze, but he could practically hear her pulse racing. She knew his reputation, why he let people think that about him, what he had done to help them think it... But she hated it, it scared her. And he hated what ever fuck made her freak like that. He dropped the backpack and pasted a sneer on his face as he turned around.

 

The look dropped. "The hell?"

 

Jared smiled hugely, sweat dripping down his brow from when he'd been running.

 

"You know him?" Mackenzie asked, not turning yet.

 

Jensen turned back to his sister and smiled at her, "Yeah... He's a good guy." She looked at him, "I promise, 'kenz."

 

Mackenzie bit her lip and turned to face the kid. Jared smiled and waved, somehow knowing not to step any closer. "Hi..." she said quietly.

 

"I like Chococat better," Jared said conspiritorialy.

 

Jensen had no clue what that meant, but Mackenzie's face lit up and that was what mattered. His eyes skated over Jared's body. When had Jensen gone from thinking of him as 'the kid' and started thinking of him by his given name? Probably around the time some one other than himself made Mackenzie smile.

 

Jared smiled at Mackenzie and then glanced at Jensen. He did a double take, "What happened to your eye?"

 

Mackenzie looked spooked again. Jensen looked at her, "Long story."

 

Jared glanced at Mackenzie and nodded, "So, what are you two early birds up to?"

 

"Just going to get some breakfast," Jensen lied smoothly.

 

"You meeting anyone?"

 

Jensen's eyebrow quirked, "Why?"

 

Jared shrugged, "I was thinking that you could come over. My momma won't mind." Jensen looked at Mackenzie. "I have a younger sister, too," Jared continued, "I'll bet she would like to see your backpack." 

 

Jensen looked at Jared and then took a few steps with Mackenzie down the street. "What do you want to do, 'kenz?"

 

She bit her lip and looked up at him, "He seems nice... Is he really a good guy?"

 

"I'm pretty sure he's got tights and a cape somewhere."

 

Mackenzie smiled, "Well... I know we don't have any money, and I am hungry... And he's smart enough to like Chococat better..."

 

"Is that a go then?"

 

"I vote go," she nodded, tucking her hand into his. It killed him.

 

Here she was almost 13 years old and she still held his hand when she was scared. He squeezed it tightly and turned back to Jared, "Thanks for the offer. Lead the way, kid."

 

He looked suprised, and then a slow smile crossed his face. "Okay," he said simply and walked on Jensen's left side.

 

Jensen looked down at his little sister, and she looked up at him, nodding and then smiling softly. She was an amazing creature. She could go from three to thirty in a matter of moments. She understood some things better than even he himself did at times, but at others... He squeezed the hand still in his. 

 

They were closer to Jar- The kid, go back to thinking of him as the kid... Makes things a helluva lot easier. Jensen sighed, cursing internally, since when had anything been easy for him.

 

The kid's arm brushed against his side and he glanced over at him, he nodded at the drive way ahead. Jensen squeezed Mackenzie's hand again. The kid stepped ahead, jumping up the few steps to the porch. 

 

"Momma?" the kid called, pulling open the screen door.

 

"Hush, JT; the rest of the family is still asleep you know."

 

"Sorry, momma," he said in a songsong voice, leaving Jensen and Mackenzie standing by the front door. All of a sudden he was glad to have her hand in his, it kept him from panicing. 

 

What the hell was he thinking? Letting someone in? He'd cut everyone out four years ago when his mother died, and hadn't let anyone else in, had gone out of his way to make sure no one else had gotten in... So what the hell was he doing now.

 

"I brought a friend over."

 

"Well, where is he?" Jensen fought back a smirk. Woman didn't miss a beat.

 

"Jensen and his sister, Mackenzie, are... By the door I guess."

 

"Jensen? The boy you're tutoring?"

 

Jensen gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes when he saw Mackenzie looking up at him in shock, "He's tutoring you?! And you're letting him?"

 

"That's up for debate," Jensen whispered back.

 

"Well, what are you two waiting for? Get in here and let's get you some breakfast- My word, Jensen..." The kid's mother came in from the kitchen, "That looks fresh. You weren't joking when you called him a tough guy."

 

Jensen schooled his face blank as he noticed The kid flush. And for some reason he felt betrayed. 'Tough guy'? Was that really all the kid saw him as? Jensen looked down at Mackenzie. "Hey, 'kenz?" he whispered, "I forgot my book at home do you mind if I go get it?"

 

She looked fearful for a moment and then looked over at the kid's mom, she smiled smally back at her welcoming grin. "No," she whispered, "I'll be okay..." He hugged her close, and his eyes slammed shut as she whispered in his ear, "Be careful..."

 

He nodded and stepped back, "I'll see you after school, okay?" Jensen walked out without another word. As he strided down the front walk he pulled out another cigarette, pausing to light it when he got to the sidewalk.

 

As he exhaled he looked back at the kid's house. He met Jared's eyes and then started walking -away from both their houses.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen was at the high school before he knew where he was going. He almost surprised himself when he found himself under the bleachers and not on the swings like he had planned. He shrugged and pulled the pen from behind his ear and the notebook from his pocket as he sank down on one of the support bars.

 

He flipped to the middle of the empty notebook and lit a cigarette, holding it loosely in his left hand as he began to drag the pen lightly across the page.

 

Jensen found himself quickly pulled out of his head as he scetched. Hmm... No, the chin should be stornger... The nose a bit pointy-er... The hair parted in the center... He shaded the tear drop above the lip... The eyes should be a little lidded... The cheeks a little more defined... There was a mole on the cheek... And near the lips... And on that chin...

 

Jensen snapped out of his reverie to the sound of a voice, "Whoa..." He slammed the notebook shut.

 

"What?" Jensen growled, pulse racing as he stared at the cover of the spiral notebook clutched in his hands.

 

"That was... Really good." Jensen looked up.

 

"What the hell are you doing here, kid?"

 

The kid rolled his eyes. "I didn't know you looked at me long enough to be able to draw me."

 

"So?"

 

"I'm just really surprised," The kid shrugged.

 

"What?" Jensen's voice was low as he stood. "I'm too much of a tough guy to be able to scetch?"

 

At least he had the smarts enough to look sorry, Jensen thought, staring at the kid. "About that... I'm sorry."

 

Jensen shrugged, "Not like I care."

 

"Your attitude says differently."

 

Jensen pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Kid was right. Fuck. He shrugged, "If you're sorry then why the hell did you say it?"

 

The kid flushed, and stared at his feet as he awkwardly started kicking at the gravel, "She's been... We've been calling you that since last year."

 

"You didn't know me last year."

 

"Which is why I gave you the nick name..." J-The KID flushed even more.

 

"Care to explain?" Jensen's eyebrow quirked of it's own accord as he exhaled around his words.

 

"I... Well... Um..." The kid looked at him, flushed scarlette and looked down. "This is going to change how you think of me."

 

Jensen snorted despite himself, "Because I think so highly of you as it is?"

 

Fourteen shades of purple, that's how Ja- the kid looked now, "Good point."

 

"The only kind I ever make." Jensen interjected.

 

"Okay... So, I might not have known you since last year, but I knew of you. You're right, they did warn me about you... And when they did, they pointed you out..."

 

"Okay..." Jensen said, when Jared stopped, obviously waiting for some sign of acknowledgement.

 

"Right... And, uh... So I went home and told my mom about you."

 

"Why? Warning her, too?"

 

"N-no... She asked me if there were... Any... Uh..."

 

"Any what?"

 

"Any cute guys..." Kid said so quietly Jensen had to strain to hear him.

 

"Why the hell did she ask you that?" he asked after a long moment in shock.

 

"Because she's known that I'm gay since I was five; she caught me playing house with my friend Zach... It's kinda just been a fact since then."

 

Jensen looked at him, mouth gaping. Slowly that began to process... "And... You told her about me?"

 

"Yeah... Bu-But I didn't know your name so I just described you... And she said you were a tough-guy and I laughed and... So that's why."

 

Jensen lit another cigarette, The k....was still toeing the ground. He exhaled and licked his lips. He whipped the notebook at him. Jared caught it and looked up at Jensen, surprised. Jensen turned around, _What are you doing, Ackles!?!_ Even his brain didn't know what the crap he was up to.

 

He pulled in another drag as he heard the pages flipping. He didn't show his scetches to anyone, not even 'kenzie.

 

He had just finished his cigarette when he felt Jared's presence behind him. He turned and Jared was a hair's width away from him. 

 

"It's amazing... Thank you." 

 

Jensen licked his lips and watched Jared look at the scetch Jensen had drawn of him. "But... I thought my lips were a little thinner than that..." Jared looked up at him, questioning but a little scared as well. Like Jensen might flip his lid because he was critical.

 

Jensen looked at Jared's lips, the lips he'd drawn on the page, up to the half lidded eyes... "They are, but in this..." He pointed to the eyes, the slight part in the lips, "You look a little bit like you've just been thoroughly kissed." Jensen walked away before Jared could say a word.

 

It was almost ninth period before he saw Jared again. He was skipping his last period, crossing the parking lot. "Crap," he muttered, seeing a mobile security gaurd heading in his general direction. He ducked under the bleachers and was walking towards the street when he saw him.

 

"Don't you have a class?"

 

"Don't you?" Jared shot back.

 

Jensen shrugged, "They stuck me in spanish. I don't take spanish. I've never taken spanish and have no intention of starting now. What about you?"

 

"No, I have last period off."

 

Jensen's eye brow quirked again, "So what are you doing here? Waiting for me?"

 

"No."

 

"Yes," Jensen countered.

 

"Fine, yes." Jensen smirked as the k- Jared started to blush again. "But only because I wanted to give this back to you."

 

Jensen rolled the notebook up and tucked it into his back pocket. "You were going to wait out here for an entire period just to give this back?"

 

"Well..." Jared toed the ground and Jensen nodded to himself, "That's what I thought. Come on."

 

"What?"

 

"Well, if you didn't notice, I'm leaving. So if you want to talk to me, you have to leave with me."

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"Picking up 'kenz."

 

"Ah."

 

"Yeah. Hey- How was she this morning?"

 

"Once Meegs got up, she pretty much stopped talking, but before that she and I were talking. I helped her a little with her 'What I did this summer' paper."

 

"Meegs?"

 

"Megan, my little sister."

 

"Gotcha."

 

"I thought that they'd get along, but she didn't talk to anyone but me."

 

Jensen looked at him, "Hey, what was her paper about?"

 

Jared shrugged, "It didn't really say anything. She talked about going to the pool -once- and, uh, the park."

 

"It was good, though?"

 

"It'll pass if that's what you mean."

 

They stopped at a cross-walk, "It was, thanks."

 

"...Sure." Jensen looked at him, "What?"

 

"Hmm? Oh, nothing... Just... Hey, can I ask you something?"

 

"You can ask..." Jensen trailed off, knowing Jared was smart enough to hear the implied _but I might not answer._

 

"So... There's a carnival at school on Friday... To raise money for the upper-calssmen and it's kind-of a big deal."

 

"What's the question," Jensen barely hid his smirk, he really wanted to hear him say it.

 

"I was... Well... I was wondering if you might want to go with me."

 

Jensen stopped dead at the corner of the fence around the middle school his sister went to. "Are you asking me on a date."

 

"No."

 

"Yes."

 

"Fine, yes."

 

"What makes you think I'd say yes?"

 

"Because you like me."

 

"I like pie, but do not feel the need to date pie."

 

Jared's eyes got wide, "Wait, you do like me?"

 

"What?"

 

"You said you like pie, but don't need to date pie... That implies that you like me, too."

 

"I never said that."

 

"I know, I said _implies_ , didn't I? Yes, yes I did."

 

"Can you honestly see me going to a school sponsored event? Especially given the fact that I don't go to school half the time."

 

"Speaking of school, did you go to health today?"

 

"No, why?" Jensen was confused by the sudden turn in conversation.

 

"Review test tomorrow."

 

"And I care why?"

 

"You need to pass health to graduate."

 

"It's one test... At the begining of the year."

 

"And everything builds from that test."

 

"Okay... So it's a little important." Jensen looked at Jared, "What?"

 

"I don't get it."

 

"Don't get what?"

 

"If you care about school, why do you skip all the time, and if you don't care then why bother re-enrolling?"

 

"It's not that I don't care about school... It just that school is not the most important thing to me."

 

"It's not the most important thing to me either," Jared said.

 

"Yeah, but it's more important to you than it is to me." Jared opened his mouth to argue, but Jensen cut him off. "Oh, here come's Mackenzie." He waved and her face lit up, she ran over.

 

"Hey, Jen!" She saw Jared, "Sen... What's up?"

 

"Nothing much, midget. Got much homework?"

 

"Nope, just a little math. Oh, and summer reading stuff."

 

"Your brother has some health homework."

 

"Shut up."

 

"Well, you do." The three fell into step with each other, walking towards their houses.

 

"Hey, why don't I come over and help you study?"

 

Mackenzie stutter stepped, and Jensen felt his heart do the same. "I don't think that that's a good idea."

 

"What?"

 

"Well, if you tutor me, that kinda means that you're working for me which means that I can't go to the stupid carnival because that's sexual harrassment."

 

Mackenzie stared up at him, and he looked down at her. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Jensen let her tug him back a few sidewalk squares. "What happened to the whole loner-Jensen thing? I mean, isn't that why you broke up with Joe?"

 

"Yeah, but he's either going to come over today or expect me to go on Friday."

 

She looked up at him, with a look on her face that clearly read Don't lie to me, "Do you like him? Really like him?"

 

Jensen ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know... I just met him."

 

"But?"

 

Jensen clenched his jaw, "I don't know... I might. Kenz... there's something about him."

 

"I knew it!" she hissed gleefully, "As soon as you called him a good guy! I knew you were letting him in..." She hugged him tightly, "I'm so glad, Jen... He seems nice, and I've been worried about you."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"I don't want you to end up alone..." She smiled, "It's silly, I know, but I really want you to be happy."

 

Jensen glanced at Jared, who was looking pointedly in the other direction. He pulled out his notebook and opened it to the picture he'd scetched that morning. "I drew this before I even realized what I was doing." He handed it to her, and her eyes got huge.

 

"When did you learn to draw like this?"

 

Jensen licked his lips, "You really want to know?" She nodded. "I... I used to draw Mom after she died... Just to kinda remember her."

 

Her eyes teared up, "Do you have any left?"

 

Jensen nodded, "I can give you some later if you want."

 

She nodded and tucked her hand into his, tugging him back to where Jared was standing, "You have to be gone by six thirty."

 

"What?" Jensen and Jared chimed together.

 

Mackenzie squeezed Jensen's hand. "Call it a test date for Friday," she said quietly, and started walking towards the house.

 

Jared looked at him, eyes wide. "Seriously?"

 

Jensen licked his lips -a nervous habit, obviously Jared thought that Jen had talked 'kenz into letting him come over. "You have to be gone by six. Six thirty at the latest. No joke."

 

Jared nodded, "Okay. I can do that. And... You know, you don't have to go with me on Friday."

 

"Who's going to win you an irritatingly large stuffed animal that you have to carry all night and then want nothing to do with after that if I don't?"

 

Jared blushed and they walked just a little closer than they needed to on the way to Jensen's house.


	4. Chapter 4

This was weird.

 

That was all Jensen could think as Jared watched him tuck his smokes under the stairs and unlock them. He let Mackenzie in and then turned back to Jared, "Wait here."

 

He stepped in and closed the door behind him, "Okay, I'll get the bottles from the living room and dining room. You hit the kitchen and the family room, okay?"

 

She dropped her back pack and they each took off, quickly gathering all the beer bottles their father had littered through the house. "We good?"

 

Mackenzie nodded, dropping her own arm load into the trash bin. 

 

Jensen walked back to the front door and pulled it open, not all that surprised to see Jared standing with half his feet over the the top step as if he wasn't sure if he should stay or go. "Okay, come on in."

 

Jared looked relieved and walked in. Jensen shut the heavy wooden door behind him. "Dining room is through here..." 

 

"Can I use your phone? I should call my mom and let her know I'll be late." Jensen nodded and waited in the hall while Jared got permission.

 

He smiled and Jensen lead him into the dining room.

 

Mackenzie was at the table, pulling out her own homework as they walked in. She smiled at Jared and then glared at Jensen. 

 

"Hey, what's that about?"

 

"Did you offer him anything to drink?" Jensen rolled his eyes.

 

"Jared... Would you like some water. Or maybe some water?"

 

"Um... Sure," he siad, setting down his own backpack on the table.

 

Jensen nodded, "Mackenzie, would you like anything while I'm up?"

 

She shook her head, smiling sweetly, "No thanks."

 

Jensen walked into the kitchen and pulled down a glass. He set it under the water and as it filled took out the bottle of tequilla from under the sink. He was more than a little freaked out by Jared being here. Hell, he was freaked out on the basis that he wanted Jared there.

 

Well, no... It wasn't that he wanted Jared there -he didn't want to be there, so why would he want Jared there?

 

It was more the fact that he was freaking out because he wanted to be in Jared's presence enough that he was willing to expose him to this hell-hole... 

 

He swallowed thickly and stared at the bottle of tequilla in his hand. Fuck. He was his father's son. He screwed the top back on and tucked it back under the sink. He wiped off Jared's glass and turned off the sink.

 

"Here you go," he said, setting the glass down on the placemat. 

 

"And here you go," Jared said, handing him a copy of the health notes Ms. Gross had obviously handed out. "Study this and I'll quiz you when Mackenzie's done with her homework."

 

He nodded at 'kenzie and she smiled before returning to her work. Jensen looked at Jared and smiled... So considerate. 

 

He leaned back in his chair and started to read the packet...

 

"Oh, shut up!" Mackenzie screeched, tossing a paper ball back at Jensen.

 

"It's true! Jared, I swear! She whipped the ice cream cone at me because it was melting too fast."

 

Jared sat back in his seat laughing. "No, wait! It gets better. After she chucked it at me-" Jensen stopped dead, hearing a car. 'kenzie's eyes got huge. "What time is it?" Jensen hissed at her.

 

She glanced at her watch, "Seven fifteen."

 

"Shit." Jensen swore, cramming everything into Jared's back pack as she did the same with her stuff. "Take Jared up stairs. Go into your room and lock the door. I'll meet you in my room as soon as I can, okay? Jared go with her. Don't make a sound."

 

Mackenzie hugged him and then pulled Jared up the stairs in the kitchen to her room. Jensen looked around and hurried into the kitchen and started washing the few dishes that were there.

 

"Where's dinner, Jensen?" Jensen's spine stiffened, "We don't have any food... Or money for food."

 

"There's no money for food but you have enough for these?" Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Jensen's mind was screaming as his cigarette's flew from his dad's fist and landed in the sink. "What's your excuse for that? Huh?" Alan pushed him sharply, and Jensen felt his hips colide with the sink. "WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE NOW?" he screamed, spit landing on Jensen's face as his dad fisted his hands in his t-shirt and yanked him around, and then pushed him sharply. 

 

"Whoa," he heard himself shout as he fell back, losing his footing as he was pulled.

 

"SHUT UP!" Alan pushed him with his foot, "Not so clever now, are you, boy?" he growled, kicking him sharply in the stomach.

 

"Huh!" Jensen gasped, glad that all the air had rushed out of his lungs in one shot, rather than him making a sound. His dad really didn't like it when he quote unquote 'talked back'.

 

"No more excuses!" He said, kneeling next to him. He stood up and pulled his foot back. Shit. Jensen felt his father's boot connect with his head and then his head connect with the bottom corner of one of the cabinets. He closed his eyes and swallowed against the nausea, but didn't give into the blackness tugging at him. He waited until he heard the front door slam again before struggling first to his knees and then pulled himself up to a standing position against the sink. 

 

He left the water running, forcing himself instead to walk to the stairs. It took forever. He half crawled, half limped up the stairs. He leaned heavily against his door frame. "Kenz... It's me... Open up, midget."

 

He heard the lock click instantly and the door swung open. She helped him in and they slowly made their way to his bed. The second he sat down she went back and locked the door. "Do you need it?" she asked. 

 

"Yeah," he said quietly, and in a heartbeat, she was sitting next to him holding his trash pale should he need it. 

 

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

 

"He found my cigarettes... He pushed me to the ground... Dammit, 'kenz, what does it matter?"

 

"Because I need to know what I need to go get."

 

"You don't need to get anything. He pushed me, I fell, he kicked me in the stomach and then again..."

 

"Where? The stomach again?"

 

Jensen grabbed the pale and spat into it, "No, I hit my head on the cabinet when he kicked me again."

 

Mackenzie ignored Jared's gasp and ran her hand gently over Jensen's head. He pulled in a breath sharply as she grazed the bump on his forehead. She bit her lip and moved her hand to the back of his head. 

 

"Jen... You're bleeding," she whispered, her voice shaking. 

 

"It's fine, 'kenz; I hit the corner... I'll be fine."

 

She shook her head, "Jared... Keep him awake. I have to get some stuff to clean that up. If he has a concussion, he can't fall asleep. Keep him awake." Jared nodded, looking pale.

 

He sat down next to Jensen, and took the trash can from Mackenzie as she slipped out. Jensen looked over at Jared. "I told you to leave by six thirty..."

 

"Shh...." Jared said, gently laying his hand on Jensen's.

 

"If he knew you were here," Jensen murmured to himself, almost unaware that he'd spoken the words aloud.

 

"But he doesn't." Mackenzie said, coming back in with a damp, clean rag and some gauze. "And he won't." Jensen looked at her, "Jen... Let me look out for you, for once... Not after you, I understand that I'm good at peicing you back together but for once... Let me look out for you, too."

 

Jared's hand gently squeezed Jensen's. Jensen looked at him, looked at Mackenzie. "Don't get used to it," he murmured. She nodded and sat down next to Jensen, crawling behind him on his bed so she could clean the wound.


	5. Chapter 5

After ‘Kenzie made absolutely certain that Jensen didn’t have a concussion, she made him lay down so she could look at his stomach. He didn’t make a noise as she poked and prodded his ribs, but once when her fingers jabbed the bruise his knuckles went white on the hand that was clutching Jared’s.

 

After that he pulled big brother rank and made her do her homework even though she was still pretty worried.

 

Jared did his as well, and as Jensen watched him, he realized that the only reason the kid was doing it was because if he was working on homework it meant he wasn’t thinking about what he’d just experienced.

 

Jensen sighed and settled back on the bed, resting his eyes for just a moment…

 

He stretched slowly, carefully, taking inventory of his battle wounds. His lip was better, her ran a finger over his closed eye and realized that the swelling had gone down on that as well. His head was throbbing and the pain in his stomach was making him nauseous. He grimaced and looked over at his alarm clock to shut it up. 

 

His arm froze where he’d been reaching, and then he made sure that he didn’t wake her as he shut it off. After he brought his arm back he smiled a little at her. She was curled next to him in a half-fetal position -careful not to jostle him, she was almost hanging off the bed.

 

That’s when he felt it, the huge hand on his chest, the thumb rubbing soothing circle on his giant bruise. Jensen’s breath hitched and he slowly turned his head. 

 

Jared was still there- Here with him now.

 

His eyes were open and he had bags under them, like he’d spent all night staying up watching over Jensen as he slept. “Hey,” he murmured, his voice cracked with a lack of sleep.

 

“Hey,” Jen murmured back, scooting closer to Jared and slipping his arm under the kids neck pulling him closer.

 

As soon as he did, Jared fell carefully against him, breathing deeply.

 

“You okay?” Jensen asked, worried.

 

“I should be asking _you_ that.” Jared said, lifting his head to look at him.

 

Jensen laid his head back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, “I’m fine, Jared. This isn’t all that out of the ordinary for me.”

 

Jared flinched a little, “It shouldn’t be.”

 

“But it is.” Jensen said sharply. “Look, I didn’t mean to drag you into this-”

 

“I didn’t really give you a choice,” Jared interrupted sheepishly.

 

“If you want an out, you’ve got one.” Jensen turned away from Jared’s suddenly stormy moss green eyes.

 

“I don’t want an out,” Jared said, “Do you want me to… want an out?”

 

“Makes you a little crazy, don’t you think? Getting involved in all this?”

 

Jared’s hand stopped soothing him and ran up his chest to gently turned his head so he was facing him, “I want you, I don’t want this -don’t like you getting the crap beat out of you, but your dad made the two a package deal. You don’t have to face it alone, not if you don’t want to.”

 

Jensen looked at him for a long moment before using the arm Jared had been using as a pillow for the past few moments to pull Jared’s face towards his. His eyes fluttered shut and then they were kissing. 

 

God, it had been years since he’d kissed someone, Jensen realized as his hand tangled in Jared hair. And even then it had never felt like this. And Jared was so sweet about it, too. He’d released Jen’s chin and pressed his hand onto the bed so that he was holding himself up over Jensen.

 

Jensen pulled back for a second, took a breath and dove in again. He’d just darted his tongue out to trace Jared’s lips when he heard a giggle. 

 

Both boys immediately whipped their head over to look at Mackenzie. 

 

“Sorry,” she giggled, and punched Jensen on his shoulder lightly. “You guys don’t waste anytime, do you? Spending the night and necking already, Jared?”

 

Jared hid his flushed face in Jensen’s neck.

 

“Hush up, midget, you’re embarrassing my boyfriend.”

 

Mackenzie stopped giggling, her eyes wide, “Boyfriend?”

 

“I… uh…” Jared lifted his head at Jensen’s stammer, and shut him up with another kiss. 

 

And Jensen started to drift off to heaven, until they were interrupted again. He froze and met his sister’s eyes. She bolted up, and Jensen followed. “Okay,” he said, you know the drill, you have an extra pair of clothes in my trunk, you can change in the closet, I’ll brief Jared.”

 

There was another crash down the hall, and he spat, “Go!”

 

Jared was frozen in place, stock still on the bed. “Jared, you need to snap out of it, I need you to get her out of here.”

 

“What are you gonna do?”

 

“I have to deal with my dad. I’ll see you at school.”

 

“No, no way I’m leaving you here with him.”

 

“You don’t have a choice, it’s not a request.” Jensen threw up his hand before Jared could argue. “Look, Jared, take her out my window to the left, there’s lattice work on that side of the house that you should be able to climb down. Now, Mackenzie’s practiced climbing it, and she’d gotten pretty good but she almost always slips at the bottom so you should go down first incase you have to catch her. Drop you back packs down before you do, the weight’ll throw you off if you aren’t used to it. Take her to your house, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” The closet door opened, and Mackenzie was shaking in the doorway. “Come on, midget, get your stuff ready; you’ll have time to freak out later.” Mackenzie gave a shaky nod and then visibly pulled herself together. Jared slid his back pack on, cramming the med kit into it as he avoided Jensen’s watchful gaze.

 

“Where’re we meeting up?” she asked Jensen. They changed it whenever they thought their dad might have figured it out. 

 

“Jay’s gonna take you to his house, I’ll meet you there.” He gave her a tight quick hug. “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Love you, too,” she murmured, and then climbed out the window, pushing her bag out first.

 

Jensen turned to Jensen and the older boy pulled him into a hot, desperate kiss.

 

“Do do that, don’t you do that,” Jared growled, pulling back.

 

“Do what?” Jensen whispered back, still holding him tightly.

 

“Kiss me like it’s the last time.”

 

Jensen closed his eyes against the bitter-sweet truth, he had been. It was his only way to deal. “Look, just take care of Mackenzie; I’ll be there-”

 

“As soon as you can,” Jared overlapped, and then pulled away. He pushed his backpack through the window and was half way through when he spoke again, “Promise me you’ll be okay.”

 

“I promise,” Jensen swore.

 

But Jared was shaking his head, “You can’t promise something like that.”

 

“Yeah… Well, I promise anyways.” Jensen through a look over his shoulder as there was an exceptionally large crash downstairs. “Go! I’ll be fine, just get her out of here!”

 

Jared disappeared from the window, and Jensen waited until he knew they’d climbed down before pulling in a deep breath and steeling himself before he went to the door and unlocked it. He crept quietly down the stairs towards the living room where he’d heard the last crash.

 

As he snuck around the couch, he saw that the crashes had indeed been made by his drunken father, and the last one by his drunken father as he passed out.

 

There was broken glass from his beer bottles everywhere, and Jensen picked a whole one up and smashed it over his ‘sleeping’ father’s head, unable to stop himself he screamed, “You son of a bitch! What gave you the right to ruin our lives!”

 

His breathing was ragged and harsh as he backed away, he couldn’t believe he’d just done that; he really was his father's son... 

 

He started breathing as if he’d just run for his life as he backed away, horrified, and then run he did. He sprinted up the stairs back to his room. As he reached the landing he froze, even his breathing stopped.

 

Mackenzie’s door had been kicked in. Fuck. He stepped inside, horrified. The lock had torn through the door frame…

 

How had they missed that? Wouldn’t they have heard it happening last night?

 

No, the crash that had spurred him into action, that had made him kick Mackenzie and Jared out… That must have been it.

 

He grabbed his empty backpack and hurried back to Mackenzie’s room. He reached under her bed and pulled out the bag that she’d packed and slung it over his shoulder. He hurried to the bathroom and grabbed their toothbrushes and some toothpaste. He went back to his room and grabbed his packed duffle bag from under his bed.

 

As he went to leave, he stopped in ‘Kenzie’s room one last time. He pulled in a shaky breath then walked in and grabbed the old worn teddy bear she slept with every night and put that in his backpack, too.

 

He hurried down stairs, and pulled open the freezer. He reached in and pulled out a twist-tied bag labeled ‘Sweet Corn’ and shoved that in his backpack, too. Before he left, he put his keys on the counter. 

 

He wasn’t coming back. Ever.

 

He hurried to Jared’s house as quickly as he could, the pounding in his head and nausea had been blocked while he was in survival mode, gathering anything he could think of, but now that he was on his way to some place safe, they were back ten-fold.

 

He stopped and swore, his fingers itching with the need to smoke. He took a small detour on the way and headed into the small convenient store that was on the way. He went directly to the counter and asked for the cheapest pack of hundreds they had. As the clerk rang him up, he pulled out the corn bag and un-twisted the twist-tie, rifling through it until he found a five dollar bill.

 

The cashier gave him a weird look, and he forced a smile as he took his change and smokes, “They froze my assets.”

 

She continued to look at him strangely so he just walked out, packing the cigarettes against the palm of his hand. He quickly unwrapped them and pulled one out, lighting it with a shaking hand.

 

He quickly smoked it down, standing sock still in the parking lot, and then tossing it under his foot to put it out before he ran the rest of the way to Jared’s house.


	6. Chapter 6

He didn’t even bother to knock when he got there, just yanked open the screen door and hurried inside.

 

Mackenzie had buried her head on Jared’s shoulder, and Jensen could tell she was crying. Jared was holding the young girl close as she sobbed in his lap. His jaw was clenched in anger, and there was fear scrawled all over his face, but his eyes showed his determination.

 

From the looks of it, his mother had been questioning him about where he’d been all night and when she realized how distraught Mackenzie was, must have started asking him about that as well. 

 

Jared obviously hadn’t known what Jensen wanted him to say, so he just sat there and comforted his sister while he waited for him to come home to him.

 

Jared caught sight of him first, and murmured, “Oh, thank god.”

 

At his words, Mackenzie lifted her tear soaked face to look at Jared and then she followed his gaze. She broke free from Jared’s suddenly loose grip and launched herself against Jensen.

 

Jensen dropped the bags and then hugged Mackenzie tightly when she reached him.

 

“We aren’t going back, are we?” she whispered, looking up at him, tears abating.

 

“No, we aren’t,” Jensen agreed, not telling her that he fully intended to go back and tell Alan exactly what he thought of him.

 

When Mackenzie pulled back and wiped her face on her sleeve, Jared swooped in and pulled Jensen tightly against him. Jensen let himself just feel Jared’s arms around him before he lifted his head and pressed his lips hungrily against the younger mans.

 

Jared met those lips with a passion. It was as if all the fear he’d been feeling while he waited to see if Jensen was okay had turned into a lust to assure himself that Jensen was really here, really okay.

 

Jensen’s hands gripped Jared’s hips, pulling them flush against his own as Jared wrapped his arms around Jen’s neck, one hand tangling in his hair while the other fisted the material in his shirt over his shoulder.

 

As Jared kissed Jensen more deeply, Jensen whimpered low in his throat and thrust one leg between Jared’s; Jared whimpered back and rocked his hips against Jensen. 

 

At that, Jensen knew he had to pull back -If he didn’t now, who knew when he’d be able to. As soon as he broke the kiss and pulled back, Mackenzie’s arms were around him once more, clutching him with one arm as the other wrapped around Jared.

 

Jared hugged Jensen tightly as well, but wrapped one arm around Mackenzie as well.

 

Jensen closed his eyes and reveled in the love and warmth he felt pouring into him from his sister and boyfriend.

 

“Ahem,” Jared’s father cleared his throat, but the three didn’t stop hugging.

 

“You’d think he just got home from war,” Jared’s mother said softly, a scared sense of wonder in her voice.

 

That bought Jensen and Jared’s attention. Jensen lifted his head, and opened his eyes, studying Jared’s mother as Jared’s head whipped around. Jensen hugged Mackenzie closer as she froze in fear.

 

Jared quickly broke free of the hug, stepping between his boyfriend and his mother.

 

Whatever look Jared wore appeared to break his mother’s heart. She made a wounded sound and turned away. His father also bowed his head for a moment before saying, “Well, I guess I’ll call Jensen and his sister off school. Sherry, you’d better call Jared off as well. Seems we’ve got some things to discuss.”

 

Jensen didn’t say a word, he just hugged Mackenzie tighter as she stiffened even more.

 

By nightfall, Jared’s parents had given up on getting any information from the trio. Jensen sat, stiff as a board between Mackenzie and Jared. Jared was just as tense as he was, but Mackenzie had just seemed to go limp, collapsed against Jen’s side, clinging to him for comfort.

 

“I don’t think they’re going to talk,” Sherry said sadly.

 

Jared’s dad nodded, “Least we can do is offer them a place to sleep tonight.” Jared head shot up, and he studied his father. 

 

“Jensen, if you’d like to take your sister to Megan’s room, she can sleep on the trundle bed there, and you can stay in the guest room. Jared will show you the way-”

 

“No,” Mackenzie said, straitening, “I’m not leaving my brother.”

 

Jensen nodded, “We’ll sleep right here if that’ll make you more comfortable, ma’am, but I’m not going to leave her side.”

 

Sherry let out another wounded sound, grasping her husband’s hand, “It must be worse than we thought.”

 

Jared’s father agreed, and then studied Jared for a moment, “I take it that you’ll stay in your room until we’re asleep and then sneak back to Jensen’s side, son?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jared said, unapologetically. 

 

“Mackenzie? Why don’t you get ready for bed, come back here and then we’ll go upstairs and talk and then bed, you are going to school tomorrow, missy, no matter what.” Mackenzie opened her mouth to argue, but Jensen wouldn’t let her. “I will walk you to school, all the way to your locker and then I will meet you after school at your locker. I will not leave you alone. If anyone calls you to the office, you run, okay? You run straight here, and Mrs. Padalecki will call me at school and I will come and protect you, do you understand me?”

 

Mackenzie nodded, knowing that he only sounded so harsh because he knew that there was a chance their father would try and pull them out of school tomorrow instead of waiting for them to come home.

 

“What if…” She trailed off looking scared, “What if he goes to your school?”

 

“Then I will run all the way to you and get you safe, okay?” She nodded again, and then slipped off the couch to get her toothbrush and pajamas. 

 

As soon as Jensen heard the door shut behind her he spoke, “Look, Mr. And Mrs. Padalecki… I have a feeling that I can trust you, so I will. But not today, not in front of my sister; she’s been through it once and she shouldn’t have to think about it anymore. Thank you for letting us stay here, I assure you that it’s only temporary-”

 

“Stay as long as you need to,” Sherry interrupted.

 

“Thank you,” Jensen acknowledged. “And like I said… I want to trust you, your son is a great person, and if you raised him, I can only imagine that he got it from you… Tomorrow, if you don’t mind staying home again, I’ll tell you everything. That’s the only time I’ll know Mackenzie is safe, I would wait until she fell asleep and then come back and tell you now but I’m guessing she’s going to have a nightmare, and if she does and I’m not there and she doesn’t realize at first where she is… 

 

“I’m just not willing to put her through that after everything else.”

 

Mr. Padalecki stood up and held out his hand. “I respect that,” he said, and Jensen shook his hand. “I’ll drive you and Mackenzie to her school tomorrow and then the four of us will sit down with a pot of coffee.”

 

“Four of us?” Jared asked, moving to stand behind Jensen.

 

“I have the feeling that your… Boyfriend is going to need you tomorrow. I also believe that even if I didn’t call you off school tomorrow you’d glue yourself to his side.”

 

Jared nodded, and they all fell silent as Mackenzie came back into the parlor. “You ready for bed, midget?” She nodded tiredly.

 

“Okay, then. Stay here with Jared and I’ll be back in two shakes.” He grabbed his duffle off the floor and hurried into the bathroom to brush his teeth after he snuck half a smoke.

 

“Jensen?” he froze in the process of closing the bathroom door behind him, and looked up at Sherry. “Please don’t smoke in the house, sweetie. Just a rule we have around here. Feel free to smoke on the porch anytime you like, though; you’re old enough, and I have a feeling that you need to.”

 

“Yes, ma’am, I’ll smoke outside from now on. I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect-”

 

Sherry held up a hand, “Don’t apologize, you didn’t know and now you do.”

 

Jensen nodded once and then headed back to the parlor. Mackenzie was pressed to Jared’s side -That kid really did bring out the trust in people.

 

He bent down and picked up the three bags, unzipping his back pack he held Mackenzie’s teddy bear out to her, and Jared said goodnight for all of them before he showed ‘Kenzie and Jensen to the guest room.

 

He gave them a few minutes alone while he went to change into a pair of sleeper pants and a t-shirt.

 

Mackenzie and Jensen knelt by the bed and said their prayers, and then he tucked her into bed. 

 

“Hey, midget,” he said, sitting on the bed beside her. “I’m gonna sit just out that window on the roof to smoke, just say my name and Jared and I’ll be right back by your side, okay?”

 

“Okay,” she said tiredly. Jensen turned to the window and quickly took the screen out when she spoke again, “Jen?”

 

“Yeah, midge?”

 

“Can… Can I sleep between you and Jared tonight?” She hid her face, voice barely audible when she whispered, “You both make me feel safe.”

 

Jensen walked over and pressed his lips to her forehead, “Yeah, midge. Slide to the middle of the bed and we’ll sleep on either side of you.”

 

“Thanks, Jen,” she said, a tearful smile in her voice.

 

“None of that,” he said gently, wiping the tear from her cheek with his thumb. “You’ve got no reason for it.”

 

She smiled at him again and then laid down again, this time in the middle of the bed.

 

Jensen watched her, and as soon as her head hit the pillow she fell asleep. Jared came in a moment later, and Jensen hushed him with a finger to his lips and gestured to the window. They both climbed out and sank to the roof.

 

When Jensen went to light the other half of his cigarette, he was surprised to hear Jared whisper, “Mind if I bum one?”

 

Jensen handed it to him with a shake of his head, “Didn’t know you smoked.”

 

Jared lit it and set a book of matches down, “I don’t… I just need to calm down somehow.”

 

Jensen nodded and pulled out his lighter, inhaling deeply.

 

Jared exhaled and scratched his eyebrow. “So, when’re you gonna tell me what happened today?”

 

Jensen looked away from Jared’s eyes, exhaling before he spoke, “My dad… He passed out, that’s what the last crashing noise was.”

 

“He hasn’t done that before?”

 

Jensen snorted, “Of course he has.”

 

There was a long pause as Jared mulled that over, and Jensen waited for the inevitable question. 

 

“Whey why’d you decide to leave now… I mean, it wasn’t because of… of…”

 

“You?” Jensen looked at him, and then away to take another drag. “Yeah, you were part of it. I don’t want you getting hurt, don’t want him knowing how happy you make me. But that wasn’t the biggest part.”

 

“What was the biggest part?” Jared half whispered, his voice scratchy and a little scared.

 

“He kicked ‘kenzie’s door in… Broke the lock.” Jensen ignored the tear that slipped down his cheek. “She’s all I’ve had for so long… I’m not going to let him taint her, I’m done letting him hurt her.”


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: Chapter Sis was added earlier today! READ THAT ONE FIRST, folks, lol. Love love.  


* * *

Jared didn’t mind sleeping with Mackenzie nestled between them, as a matter of fact, he suggested it as they climbed back in threw the window, and flushed when Jensen rewarded him with a kiss.

 

Jensen smiled, his eyes still closed from when he’d woken. Finally, he forced his eyes open and saw that Jared and Mackenzie were still asleep. As he slid out of bed, he realized that neither man had been touching Mackenzie as they slept. Jensen quickly -but near silently- slipped out of his jeans and AC/DC shirt before yanking on a BOC t-shirt and another pair of jeans, then he sat down and pulled on a clean pair of socks and putting his boots back on. You didn’t live with his father and not have a pair of shoes on at almost all times; never really knew when you were going to have to make a break for it.

 

He stood and turned around. Jared was propped up on his elbow, eyes wide.

 

“What?” Jensen asked.

 

“You just changed in front of your sister.”

 

Jensen shrugged, “She’s asleep.”

 

“She could have woken up,” Jared hissed.

 

“Nah,” Jensen shook his head, “Too early. She gets up at seven at the earliest, or whenever you say her name. Even if it’s just a whisper, she’d wake right up.”

 

“Really?” Jared said, leaning back on both elbows as Jensen walked around and sat next to him on the bed.

 

“Really,” Jensen said, his voice low and husky. He bent, face an inch in front of Jared’s, “Morning,” he whispered and then closed his eyes and the distance between them.

 

Jared held himself up with one elbow and curled his free hand around Jensen’s neck, pulling the older boy with him as he lay back on the bed. Jensen’s forearm was pressed into the bed under Jared’s shoulder, and his other hand was crushing the pillow besides Jared’s head.

 

“Morning,” Jared murmured, smiling at him and then he pulled him in for another kiss.

 

“We should stop,” Jensen said, eyes still closed.

 

“Yeah, might wake Mackenzie up,” Jared said, and they both breathed for a moment before they kissed again.

 

Giggle. Jensen sat up, “You just had to say her name.”

 

Jared flushed, “I forgot.”

 

“Am I going to wake up to you two kissing every morning?” Mackenzie teased, stretching and yawning.

 

“Would that really be so bad?” Jensen asked.

 

“No,” she answered, “I like seeing you happy, Jen.”

 

“Yeah, Jen,” Jared teased, pretending his face wasn’t beet red. “She likes seeing you happy.”

 

“Oh, shut up, Jay,” Jensen said playfully, and then got up. “Hey, ‘kenz, you want to get changed and stuff, I’m gonna sit on the roof for a second.”

 

“Don’t forget to put the cigarette out before you toss it,” Mackenzie said, clearly not buying his new need to sit on the roof.

 

“I won’t,” he said, smiling a little. Jared followed him onto the roof so she didn’t have to leave the room or use the closet to change. “You know,” Jensen said, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag before he spoke again, “We can’t really stay here that long. I mean, I hate running from the man and I appreciate your parent’s hospitality… But we can’t stay here. It’s not safe for ‘Kenzie to be this close.”

 

Jared sat silent for a long moment and Jensen took another drag before daring to meet his eyes, when he did… God, Jared looked so sad. When he held out his hand Jensen handed him the cigarette. Jared made no move to give it back after he took a drag so Jensen lit another, laying the pack and his lighter between them.

 

“I get that, Jen… I do… I’m just…” He took a drag and looked pointedly away, “I’m really gonna miss you guys. I mean, I know that we just met, but…”

 

“We’ve already been through so much,” Jensen finished, nodding.

 

“Yeah,” Jared said, sniffing and then took another inhale on the cigarette.

 

“I… I don’t want to leave Jared.” Jensen and Jared spun around to find Mackenzie at the window.

 

“I know, midget,” Jensen said softly, pulling her onto his lap after she climbed onto the roof with them. “I don’t want to either…”

 

“I know,” she said, a tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “You look at him the way Mom looked at Dad...”

 

Jensen felt his own chin quivering a little as Mackenzie clung to him. “But, Mackenzie,” he said, “We have to go. This is Jared’s family, not ours. And it’s too close to Dad… It’s not safe. I’m not going to risk you.”

 

“This isn’t just Jared’s family, anymore, Jensen… You and Jared are my family now. Josh… He left, and I shouldn‘t... but I hate him for it," she sniffed loudly, “And Dad… If he gets the chance, he’ll kill you, probably kill me, too. And Mom is gone… Jensen… You’re the only one I had left, and then Jared came along…” She looked up at him, fighting tears so she could speak, “I can’t lose someone else, Jen… I can’t.”

 

Jensen clenched his jaw, tears slipping down his face as Mackenzie finally let herself go.

 

“You aren’t gonna lose me,” Jared said, steel in his voice. “I’ll find a way, you aren’t gonna lose me, too, ‘Kenz.”

 

Jensen glared at him, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

 

Jared clenched his jaw, “I’m not.”

 

“You’re fifteen, a kid, there isn’t anything you can do to stay with Mackenzie and I.”

 

“I’ll emancipate myself if I have to,” Jared said. “Although I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t make me.”

 

Jensen shook his head. “I’m not gonna let you do that.”

 

“Why not? You don’t want me around?”

 

“You know that’s not why,” Jensen said, and Mackenzie slipped off his lap so she wasn’t in the way. 

 

“Then why?” Jared was on the verge of tears now.

 

“Because you’ve worked too hard to get where you are, and your family loves you too much for you to just throw that away.”

 

“I’m not throwing anything away, I’m fighting for what I want.”

 

Jensen shook his head, “No, Mackenzie and I will stay for the rest of the week, I promised to take you to that stupid thing on Friday-”

 

“I don’t care about that, anymore,” Jared scoffed.

 

“I do,” Jensen said, angrily stubbing his cigarette out on the bottom on his boot, “Because I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

 

Jared took the barb for what it was, and didn’t try and stop Jen when he climbed back into the room.

 

As he stood in the guest room that the Padalecki’s had so nicely given them use of, he tried to keep himself calm. It was a losing battle, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He turned around, his fists clenched, and when he glanced out the window all the anger drained from him.

 

Mackenzie and Jared were hugging, almost clinging to each other. He turned around, almost feeling like he was intruding on their moment. 

 

It was breaking Mackenzie’s heart knowing that they were going to leave Jared; hell, it was breaking his heart… But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t the best thing to do.

 

“ ‘Kenz, come on,” Jensen said, not bothering to turn around. “You have to get ready for school.”

 

Jared wouldn’t look at him, and Jensen felt his non-looks like cuts on his heart. Mackenzie wasn’t happy with Jensen either, but she gave him a huge hug all the same when he dropped her off at her locker. She’d lost too much to cut anyone of, especially Jensen.

 

Mr. Padalecki didn’t bother trying to talk to Jensen on the way back to his home, he knew it would have been pointless.

 

When they got back, Jared sat silently seething next to Jensen while Sherry got the coffee out and ready she put out some muffins on a plate next to the cream and sugar.

 

Jensen accepted a mug of the steaming hot liquid, and took a drink, “Thank you, ma’am.”

 

She waved off his thanks and did everything she could think of to do before finally settling down next to her husband. Jensen stared into his empty coffee mug and waited. He wanted to see who would speak first.

 

He was surprised, because it was Jared that prodded him into action.

 

“Jen… Tell them. Tell them everything.”

 

Jensen looked at the Padaleckis, first Jared and at his parents and then back at Jared again.

 

He bowed his head and took a deep breath, “It started when my mom died… My dad, he, uh, he started drinkin’. It wasn’t much at first, weekends, and then every other work day, and then every night. Made me so angry, I started picking fights with Josh’s friends… They were older, so I thought they could take me, but I was so angry, I beat ‘em all to hell.

 

“And I got caught fighting at school, my dad had to take half a day off work. I’d never seen him that angry before. And then he drank; Jim, Jack, and Jose… All the best,” Jensen said sarcastically. “And after he got good and wasted, he called Josh down, told him that if he ever caught him fighting this was what he was going to do to him. And he beat the living crap out of me. Didn’t stop until I passed out, if then.

 

“And Josh…” Jensen took a swig of coffee, “Josh just got away, stayed away from home as often as possible, made sure to keep his nose clean. He even started getting straight A’s. 

 

“My dad started coming home drunk then, and still had more to drink once he got there.” He looked at Jared, with a nod, about to answer the unasked question, “That’s when I made Josh the door locks.

 

“Anyway, got worse after Josh left. Probably because Josh didn’t tell anyone he was leaving, or where he was going… He just left.

 

“That’s when I came up the idea for Mackenzie and I to keep a packed bag under our beds, and we would pick a meeting place for if we ever had to run. I put lattice work up on one side of the porch so we could leave that way. Always kept my window unlocked in case she needed me for any reason…” Jensen sniffed, and Jared moved closer, taking the coffee mug from his hand and replacing it with his own large hand. Jensen squeezed it gently, hoping to get across just how much he needed Jared. Jared squeezed his hand back, and Jensen continued, “Anyway… 

 

“Uh, Mackenzie was worried about me. I’d dumped my boyfriend after Mom died, couldn’t handle it anymore, but she didn’t say anything about it, I could just see it in her eyes…

 

“And then last year it got even worse… My dad broke my leg, and wouldn’t take me to the hospital so I ended up skipping school for a couple months, stayed at home in bed all day until ‘kenz got home from school and then I’d make sure that she was safely locked in her room doing her homework, and then I’d make dinner.

 

“I started planning then, looked into how to get Mackenzie away from Dad, but… He never laid a hand on her,” he whispered, “I made sure of that. And that’s what was going to break my case against him.” He shook his head, “I never told Mackenzie, she would have made sure that he hit her at least once so we could leave.

 

“But the thing is… Deep down, I know that he wouldn’t have hit her just once. He’s broken my leg, my fingers, given me concussions, and God knows what else… There’s no way he would have smacked her once and let her walk away… And I couldn’t take that chance. I refuse to take that chance with her.

 

“He could break her so easily, and he wouldn’t hesitate, not after a Miller Time shift…” Jensen sighed, “Enter Jared.

 

“He came over last night,” and he held up a hand when Sherry gasped, “Don’t worry, my dad didn’t know that Jay was there, he didn’t lay a hand on him.

 

“Anyway, he beat the crap out of me and then Jared knew my little secret. Wouldn’t have changed anything, I wouldn’t have left my house, not then anyway. But Jared stayed and yesterday morning… 

 

“At first, it was this amazing dream, waking up and seeing him beside me, and Mackenzie was happy, too.

 

“That’s when we heard the first crash. So that’s when I activated the escape plan. Told Jared to take Mackenzie and go, come here because I knew that you’d keep her safe and I knew that my dad wouldn’t ever look here because he didn’t know to…” Jensen didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt a tear drip onto his hand.

 

“So they left, and I heard another crash… And I knew this was it, my chance to get us away… But I had to know what happened… So I went downstairs… And my dad was just layin’ there, passed out, broke a table…

 

“And I just looked at him, and I got _so **angry**_ … Next thing I knew I’d smashed a bottle over his head… And that’s when I ran. I ran back upstairs to get the bags from under our beds…

 

“That’s when I saw Mackenzie’s door…” He sniffed, knowing that he was crying to hard it was near impossible to understand him, but unable to stop, “He’d kicked it in… It was just layin’ there… So I grabbed our stuff, and the little money I’d hidden away over the years, and I ran… I ran right here… And I’m gonna keep running until he can’t touch us anymore.

 

“That’s why I’m taking Mackenzie Saturday morning and we’re getting out. I don’t know where we’ll go, or how we’ll get there… But I can’t stay here, not while he can get us.”

 

“Why… Why Saturday morning, son?” Mr. Padalecki asked.

 

“Because I keep my promises, sir.”

 

At those words, Jared lunged from his chair and wrapped his arms around Jensen, pulling him into a hug.


	8. Chapter 8

  
Author's notes: This chapter is dedicated to " **Magos186** " as she seems be loving this lots!!! Here's to you!  


* * *

Jensen clung to Jared until he’d gotten his wall built back up, emotions firmly tucked inside. Jared appeared to do the same thing after Jensen pulled back.

 

“Well,” Sherry said softly, “That settles it, I’m calling the police.”

 

Jensen clenched his jaw, “Ma’am, please don’t do that.”

 

“Why not? You need-”

 

“Because, if you call them I’ll have to go get Mackenzie and leave right now.”

 

“Mom, please don’t,” Jared said, his mask falling for a second, “Don’t make him leave yet, I only have two more days… Including today. Please don’t take that away from me. Please…”

 

Jensen looked down and away, guilt gnawing at him.

 

“Oh… Okay,” she said, giving her baby boy the only thing she could; two more days.

 

Jensen pulled out his pack of cigarettes and held them up before walking out onto the back porch. He’d just lit it when the back door swung open once more, he looked over and exhaled sharply as he registered Mr. Padalecki closing both doors behind him.

 

“You know I haven’t smoked since before Jeff was born… But I could really use one now.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said, making to put his cigarette out.

 

“Don’t be, and don’t bother putting it out, I imagine that you could use one about now.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jensen agreed, taking a long drag.

 

“Well, I’ll make you a deal, son. You give me a cigarette and I’ll let you borrow my car to get where ever it is you want to go.”

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“Saturday morning, going to be hard to see Jared after you leave… I figure, you take him along for the ride, let him see the place you’re going to be living and then let him drive back. We’ll let him visit anytime; he’s mighty attached to you.”

 

Jensen took a drag, “Sir, I’m 19 and he’s 15... Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

Jared’s dad took a long drag, held it in with closed eyes and then let it out before he spoke again, “Jensen, I care more for my son than I do for the law to which you are referring… Jared… He hasn’t acted like a kid for a long time, so I’m not gonna go treatin’ him like one now.” He took another drag and looked at the man next to him, as he spoke again, “Matter of fact, I’d let him go with you if he manned up and asked me. And if I thought Sherry’d let me get away with it.”

 

Jensen looked down, biting his lower lip; glad that Jared couldn’t hear what his father had just said, if he had… Well, Jensen was pretty sure that if Jared _had_ heard, he would have asked right then and there. Jensen rolled the cigarette between thumb and forefinger until the cherry fell off the filter and then he stubbed it out under his boot. Mr. Padalecki did the same and opened the door.

 

“Mom, I’m telling you; the only reason he won’t let me go with him is because he doesn’t want to take me away from you.”

 

“Jared…”

 

“Mom… You know I can’t stay where he isn’t. I love him, I know it’s crazy but I do, and I’m begging you-”

 

“Jared, stop right there,” Jensen interrupted.

 

“Jen-”

 

“No, I’m not letting you come with me, not even if your Mom’ll let you,” Jensen swore in his head as Sherry sent her husband a sharp look, “Because if you have a happy family, you don’t break that up.”

 

Jared looked at him, swallowing his irritation, and gave a small nod, “Okay, Jensen.”

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

Jared nodded again, and Sherry seemed to heave a sigh of relief.

 

That’s when the doorbell rang, long and insistent. 

 

Jensen’s head whipped up, and he automatically took a step back. Sherry reached out and pulled Jared against her while Mr. Padalecki went to the front door.

 

“Can I-? Jensen, I think you should come here. Now.”

 

Jensen threw Jared a confused glance and then hurried to the front door. 

 

“Oh, crap,” Jensen fell to one knee, bracing himself as Mackenzie threw herself into his arms. Mackenzie wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and Jensen wrapped his tightly around her sobbing body. He held her for one long moment and then looked over at Jared who’d run out after him, “Maybe I will have to break my promise after all.”

 

Mackenzie shook her head, but when she made to speak Jensen spoke first, “Calm down, sweetie. I’ll listen when you can breathe again.”

 

Jensen stood up, still holding Mackenzie against him, with his arms aching with the weight of his twelve year old sister he quickly made his way to the couch, letting her cry herself out on his lap. Jared sat down next to them and rubbed her back, trying to soothe her somehow.

 

When she had run out of tears, she sniffled and pulled back. 

 

“You okay? Did he see you?”

 

“Jen… I’m sorry,” she murmured, barely able to look at him.

 

“Why, sweetie?” he asked, keeping the fear out of his voice, “Did he follow you here?”

 

“No!” she said quickly, “That’s the thing… Dad, he never came to school.” She hid her face again, “I just got so scared.”

 

“Oh, Jesus,” Jensen murmured, pulling her against him again. “I’m so sorry, Mackenzie… I should have gotten you away from him a long time ago.”

 

“Jen, don’t blame yourself; you’ve done more for me than Dad could ever do. And you didn’t have to.”

 

Jensen smiled at her, “Of course I did, you’re my sister.”

 

She smiled back for a second, then let it drop and whispered, “I’m Josh’s sister, too… But he didn’t stay for me -for us.”

 

“Josh’s survival instinct took over,” Jensen shook his head, “You’re the one who told me that.”

 

She nodded, “Yeah, but you didn’t let yours take over and leave me alone with him.”

 

_And look where that got us_ , Jensen thought.

 

Mackenzie leaned over, and whispered in his ear, “Stop thinking what you’re thinking.” Jensen turned to look at her and she smiled, “Yeah, like an open book,” she teased.

 

“Jensen…” Jared murmured, “She’s right, nobody blames you.”

 

Sherry gasped, “Of course we don’t!”

 

“But I-”

 

Jared shushed him with a kiss, “Shut up and be happy. You’re getting away, and for the first time in years you can breathe. So do it, take a breath.”

 

And Jensen did. A nice deep breath.

 

Mackenzie had worn herself out with her paranoia and then tears, and Jensen had worn himself out by -well, basically living, so they both went upstairs to sleep for a bit. Jensen said he wasn’t going to, so Mackenzie curled up on the bed and Jensen settled himself in the desk chair.

 

Mackenzie fell asleep quickly, and as soon as she did, Jensen slouched in his seat and let his eyes close…

 

Jensen yawned, stretching his back as he did. Mackenzie was still asleep on the bed, and didn’t seem to be about to wake up any time soon, so Jensen slipped onto the roof and lit a cigarette, he’d just pulled in his first drag when he heard the voices.

 

He glanced behind him and then crept carefully closer to the edge of the roof, listening.

 

“Look, Mom,” a voice that he didn’t recognize was saying. “I think Dad’s right. Jared… He needs to go with this guy.”

 

“Josh-”

 

“No, Mom, I’m serious. We both know that he isn’t an outgoing guy, we also both know that JT’s had a crush on this guy since we moved here and he saw him at school… Now that they have each other, I mean, seems to me this Jensen guy needs Jared as much as JT needs him- If not more.”

 

“But, Josh… He’s fifteen… I’m supposed to have at least three more years until he leaves home.”

 

“Mom, if you were fifteen when you fell in love with Dad and he had to leave town, wouldn’t you have gone with him?”

 

“You know I would have,” Sherry said, her voice so low that Jensen almost couldn’t hear her.

 

“I think you need to treat this the same way,” Josh said. “I know it hurts to lose him, but you aren’t losing him. You’re gaining another son, and a daughter; you have to see how much there is to gain, not what you’re going to lose for just a little while.

 

“You know if JT goes with Jensen that Jensen would move them back here as soon as it was safe.”

 

“But who knows when that would be,” Sherry said sadly.

 

“Just because they can’t come here doesn’t mean you can’t go visit them, Mom.”

 

Jensen swallowed a curse as his cigarette burned his fingers. He dropped it and stepped on it quickly.

 

“Jared, honey?” Sherry called, and then a moment later said, “Why don’t you go wake our guests up, dinner’s ready.”

 

“Sure, Mom,” Jared said tiredly.

 

Jensen climbed back in the window and had just sat back down on the chair when Jared quietly knocked and opened the door.

 

“Hey,” he murmured, looking tired as hell.

 

“Hey,” Jensen echoed, standing and walking towards him.

 

“She still out?”

 

“Yeah, like a light,” Jensen said, “And if it’s all the same, I’d rather not wake her… She’s been through enough these past few days.”

 

“More like years,” Jared murmured. “Yeah, that sounds fine.” He sighed and Jensen laid a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’m gonna leave a note, I’ll be down in a second, okay?” Jared nodded and gave Jensen a deep kiss before he went down stairs. Jensen stood there, frozen for a moment; it was as if Jared needed to have every moment reinforced. He sighed guiltily and then shook it off, there was nothing he could do about that.

 

Jensen wrote Mackenzie a note and laid it on the pillow beside her before he quietly left the room. Chances were slim that she’d wake up, but he didn’t want her to get scared if she did wake up and he wasn’t there.

 

In all honesty, he wrote the note more for him than he did her. She was twelve, smart enough to figure out where he was, but… Just in case, he told himself, just in case.


	9. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes: Again for " **Magos186** ", because she continues to rock my sox and will, theoretically, help clean up after my head -inevitably- explodes. Also for Chiazu for noticing my typo! Rock out!

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair, Megan seemed to be the only one who didn’t know what was going on, and the Padaleckis seemed pretty keen to keep it that way. And Jensen was more than fine with that.

 

“Megan, honey,” Sherry said when they finished eating -Or picking at, in Jensen’s case- dinner. “Would you mind clearing up? Me, your daddy and the boys have some things to discuss.” Megan sighed and stood up, plate in hand. “And Megan,” Sherry said, “Don’t listen this time, it’s none of your business what we’re saying.”

 

Megan looked stricken, as if she hadn’t known her mother knew that she often listened at the door when her parents spoke to her brothers.

 

Jensen followed Jared into the parlor, Josh waited until everyone was in the room before he closed the sliding doors behind them.

 

“What’s this about?” Jared asked, and he was the only one who didn’t know.

 

“Jared… Jensen…” Josh sat down as his father gestured for his younger son and their guest to do the same. Jared shot a confused look at Jensen and then looked at his parents as they settled themselves on the loveseat across from the couch.

 

Jensen swallowed, he knew he was about to argue profusely with everyone in the room. Hopefully Sherry would come back to his side and make Jared listen.

 

“Jensen, son,” Mr. Padalecki said, “My wife and I have been thinking a lot today. Hell, we even asked Jeff for his opinion… And… Look, if you want Jared to go with you, then that’s what we want, too.” Jensen opened his mouth to speak but Sherry spoke, “He’s right, Jensen. Jared won’t be happy without you, and I’m pretty sure that even if we didn’t let him go with you, he’d still run away from home and find you.”

 

Jensen looked over at Jared. “That true?” he asked quietly, “Even if I didn’t let you come with me now, you’d come after me?”

 

Jared squared his jaw under Jensen’s studious gaze. “Yes,” he answered, no hesitation.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re my family now. Josh and Megan… My mom and dad… I mean, yeah, sure; I’m in their family and they will always be in mine, but… You… You’re my family now, the person I want to start a family with.”

 

Jensen couldn’t help but smile a little. “You know,” he said quietly, “I see Mackenzie as kind of like a daughter now… We’re a package deal.” Jensen’s smile dropped. “You’re _fifteen_ , Jared… You really think you want to start a family now? And start with an emotionally wrecked nineteen year old that essentially has a twelve year old daughter?

 

“You really think that’s the smartest move? I don’t even have a high school diploma, it’s going to be near impossible for me to get a good job… And even if I do, Mackenzie and I… We’re gonna have to keep moving, every few years, anytime my dad might’ve caught wind to where we are, and then it’ll start all over again.

 

“We’ll all be a year older, but it’ll be the same thing all over again.” Jensen forced Jared to meet his eyes again, laying his hand on Jared‘s chin and turning his head, “You really think that’s the smartest thing to do?

 

“Jared, you are one of the smartest people I’ve ever met… You could do anything, be anything you wanted to be… Why would you waste that on me?”

 

Jared lifted his hand and covered Jensen’s where it still lay on his chin, “If I’m one of the smartest people you know, who could do and be anything… Then why won’t you let me be with you? If I’m so smart, why do you think that’s such a dumb idea?”

 

“Because I know what it’s like to lose part of your family, Jared. And I can’t lose you, too. Because one day you’re going to realize how much more you could be, how much more you could do if you weren’t tied down to me.”

 

“You think I’m going to leave you?” Jensen had never seen someone look so hurt in all his life.

 

“Once you realize I’m not worth it, that I never was… You’d be stupid not to.”

 

“Hey, that’s enough of that,” Josh interjected. “Jensen, I know we don’t know each other, and I know you don’t think you have any reason to listen to me… But give me the benefit of the doubt for a minute. 

 

“You’re right, Jared is one of the smartest people you’ll ever meet; that’s why you should listen to him.

 

“As for you not being worth it?” Josh shook his head, “I think we’d all have to disagree with you on that one. 

 

“You didn’t have to take care of Mackenzie-”

 

“Yes, I did,” Jensen interrupted angrily, “If I didn’t no one else would have!”

 

“That didn’t your brother from leaving, didn’t stop your dad from givin’ up on all his children. You all needed him more than ever when your mother passed away and he just checked out. That is not okay, that will never be okay, and it will never be your fault.

 

“So, please,” Josh said, “Just shut up and listen to us.”

 

Jensen shook his head and stood up, turning to face Jared’s mother. “This is really what you want for your baby boy? Him to shack up with a nineteen year old that’s taking care of his younger sister? You think that’s the smartest move for him?”

 

Sherry’s eyes watered with unshed tears, “I want him to be happy, Jensen… That’s all I can ask for… And I want you happy, too. And you make each other happy. Even Mackenzie makes Jared happy. You said yourself that Jared’s a smart kid, he knows that you and your sister are a package deal… Knows that this isn’t going to be easy, but it’s what he wants; and he fights for what he wants.”

 

“One way or another,” he husband picked up, “Jared is going to have you and Mackenzie in his life, seems to me you should just be happy to have him. I know he makes you happy, son, why can’t you admit that, too?”

 

“I can admit that,” Jensen said angrily, “I can see how happy he is when he’s with me.” He turned and faced the window, “That’s why I can’t bear to be the one that puts that light in his eyes out.”

 

Jensen didn’t turn as Jared came up behind him, “Jen… The only way you could be the one to put that light out is if you walked away from me.”

 

Jensen still didn’t turn away from the window.

 

“Jensen, please,” Jared implored, “Let me come with you. Let yourself be happy. I _know_ it isn’t going to be easy to take care of Mackenzie and keep hidden all at the same time… And it’s going to be so much worse if you aren’t happy doing it.

 

“Mackenzie knows that you’re going to take care of her, and she wants you to be happy, too. She told you that.

 

“Why won’t you let yourself be happy?” Jared asked.

 

“Look,” Jensen said, “Everything in my life, everything that I touch, that I so much as _look_ at… It all turns to poison. The only thing that I can do to redeem myself, to put right everything that’s broken… Is to make sure Mackenzie is okay, make sure she makes it through this as healthy and happy as possible.”

 

“Two things,” Jared said, moving between Jensen and the window, forcing Jensen to meet his eyes. “One, Mackenzie’s happiness rides on your happiness, too. If you aren’t happy, then neither is she, and you know that.

 

“Two? What are you talking about, you aren’t to blame for anything; as a matter of fact I’d say you were the only bright spot in this whole mess.”

 

“Look, out of all the BS I’ve been through… My mom dying, my dad becoming a drunk, my brother leaving… What’s the common factor there, Jared?

 

“Me. I am.” Jensen threw out his hands, palms up. “Bottom line, I refuse to break you, too.”

 

“Oh, Jensen…” Jared murmured, “You are _not_ that dumb, baby.”

 

“Jared, I don’t think that’s the nicest way to put that,” Sherry said, but both boys ignored her.

 

“Am I wrong?”

 

“No,” Jared agreed, “You’re right, you have been shit on, but that doesn’t mean that you’ve caused any of it.

 

“Just because bad things have happened to you doesn’t mean you’re to blame… And it doesn’t mean you have to face them alone.”

 

Jensen looked at Jared, “You aren’t gonna give up, are you?”

 

“No,” he said, no hint of apology in his voice, “I’m not.”

 

“Fine. You’re being an idiot, but fine. Tomorrow I’ll tell Mackenzie to start looking for a place to go, and you’ll help me pack the car.”

 

“The car? You have a car?” Jared asked and Jensen looked at Mr. Padalecki, who nodded.

 

“Not quite,” Jensen said, “Apparently your Dad’s letting me borrow his.”

 

“But now that I know Jared’s going to stay with you, I guess we have to make a revision to that deal, huh?”

 

Jensen chuckled a little, “I’d say so.”

 

“Okay, then,” Mr. Padalecki nodded. “You’re going to keep that car, use it anyway you see fit. You need to sell it, you go right ahead.”

 

“But-”

 

“No exceptions,” he said, not allowing Jensen to interrupt. “Now, once you three get back on your feet… In return for the car, I expect you to come here every year for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and Jared’s birthday. 

 

“Or Jared’s birthday weekend, whichever works out better.

 

“Also, you have to call every night, give us an update on how things are… Where you are if you can safely say, what’s new in your life.” Mr. Padalecki stood up and held out his hand, “Think you can handle that, son?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jensen said, and shook the older man’s hand.

 

“Okay then,” Sherry said, wiping the tears from her face, “Now, tomorrow… Jerry has to go to work, but I’ll help you plan, okay? And then I’ll make you a nice ‘see you later’ dinner for after you two get back from your date.”

 

“You don’t have to do that, ma’am,” Jensen said.

 

“I know, baby, but I want to.”

 

“Okay,” Jensen said, swallowing more tears.

 

“Now you boy’s had better get to bed, you have a big day tomorrow.”

 

Jensen nodded and shook Jerry’s hand again before giving Sherry a tentative hug and hurrying upstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

  
Author's notes: For " **Magos** " and my darling **Jensen** \- One of the coolest chicks I know.

* * *

Jensen didn’t sleep that night, not one wink, but Jared did; and Jared didn’t let go of him once, just clung to him in sleep. It was almost as if he thought that Jensen would change his mind about letting him come along if he stopped touching him…

 

Jared woke up a little before seven and studied Jensen for a long moment, “I’m going with you, aren’t I? I didn’t just imagine that?”

 

“No,” Jensen said softly, “You didn’t imagine it.”

 

“Oh, thank god,” Jared breathed, collapsing onto Jensen’s chest again. He just held him for a long moment, and then he leaned up and kissed him with abandon. “Morning,” he whispered, and then devoured Jensen’s mouth again.

 

Giggle. Jensen pulled back, away from Jared’s heavenly lips.

 

“I really am going to wake up to you two kissing every morning, aren’t I?” Mackenzie teased.

 

“Yeah,” Jared said, “You are.”

 

Mackenzie’s eyes got wide. “You mean… Jen caved? You’re coming with us?”

 

Jared nodded, and Mackenzie squealed launching herself at them. Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle at her response, and as he did, he knew he’d been talked into the right choice.

 

She squeezed them both for a long moment, and then jumped out of bed. “Well, I am just going to go down the hall to the bathroom… I imagine that I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.” She threw them an oh-so subtle wink and grabbed her bag before walking out.

 

Jensen let his head drop back on to the pillow with a groan, “I hate that she’s making sex jokes. She’s only twelve.”

 

“She may be twelve, but she isn’t stupid,” Jared said, and snickered when Jensen have him a half-assed glare, “I know she isn’t stupid, Jay, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

 

Jared snickered again and then pressed his lips to Jensen’s again. Jensen let his eyes shut, just gave into the kiss. He ran his hand up Jared’s arm, over his shoulder, and curved his hand around Jared’s neck gently. Jared kissed him back just as sweetly.

 

Jensen sighed and then kissed him again, completely content. These kisses were ridiculously tender, for once not about taking what they could get while they had the chance; no this was just about being together, sharing the moment.

 

Jensen sighed contentedly and lay back on the pillow, Jared hummed a pleasant noise and then lay back on the bed using Jensen’s chest as a pillow, melding their bodies together.

 

That’s how Mackenzie found them sleeping when she came back to tease them some more.

 

Jensen was half conscious, and wanted to tell her to go help Sherry plan, but he just fell further into unconsciousness... 

 

When he woke up around noon, the bed was empty beside him, and part of his heart froze.

 

Then he felt the post-it note stuck to his forehead. 

 

_Don’t freak, I’m just packing some stuff. Love, Jared_

 

He smiled a little, kid was freakin’ adorable.

 

He stretched and quickly changed, heading down the hall to Jared’s room. It was empty, and Jensen noted some things were missing; they had to be, he could see the open spots where pictures had to have been. 

 

He looked at the door, and the corkboard with Jared’s name written on it, pulling it carefully off the hook on the door, he carried it downstairs with him.

 

“I don’t know, Mom,” Jared was saying, “I don’t think Jensen’s really going to let you send us on out with a bunch of stuff. He already thinks you’ve done too much for him and ‘kenz.”

 

“I thought we could take this with us,” Jensen said, walking into the kitchen acting like he hadn’t just been listening in for a moment, “A portable little piece of home, you know?” He kissed Jared’s cheek, “What do you think?”

 

“Sure,” Jared said. “Mackenzie and I started a pile of stuff by the back door.”

 

“Okay, I’ll go put it with the rest. He turned to walk out of the kitchen and paused for a moment, “And, Sherry, ma’am? I think I’ve taken enough from you and your family, you don’t need to send anything else along.”

 

He smirked, and heard Jared laughing all the way down the hall.

 

\-----

 

“I still can’t believe we’re going to this stupid thing,” Jensen mock griped as he slid into the driver’s seat of the packed car. Sherry, of course, didn’t accept Jensen’s no and cooked all day so they would have food for a while -no matter where they went or how long it took them to get there.

 

Jared chuckled, “I can’t believe you’re taking me either, to be honest.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, starting the car.

 

“Yeah…” Jared flushed a little as he continued, “I mean, the hottest guy taking me to the carnival? Whew, unbelievable.”

 

Jensen laughed, “Sure, sure.” Then he started to back the car out of the drive way, just before he turned onto the street, he stopped. “Jared, you mind if I do something before the carnival?”

 

“No, go ahead.”

 

Jensen nodded, and drove quickly towards his house, hoping Jared wouldn’t notice until it was too late.

 

Luck must have been a lady that night, because Jared didn’t notice where they were until he pulled into his drive way.

 

“Shut up,” Jensen said before Jared could say a word. “Just hear me out. I’m not going to take his crap anymore, and this is just something I have to do. Lock the door, don’t let anyone but me back in…” Jensen pulled in a breath, “I’ll be back in time to get us to the carnival.”

 

“Am I going to be able to talk you out of this?”

 

“No.”

 

“And is this not able to talk you out of it like me going with you, or actually not able to talk you out of it?”

 

“Seriously not able to,” Jensen said, staring at the front door.

 

“Okay,” Jared said, “I don’t like it, but okay.”

 

Jensen unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out, slamming the car door behind him. He took a deep breath and walked up the front steps he’d walked up everyday of his life until a few days ago. He took a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled.

 

And knocked.


	11. Chapter 11

  
Author's notes: " **Magos186** ", my bud 'Jensen', and " **Blackthorne** "- Here's to you, and your kick ass reviews! Oh, and " **chiazu** "? Don't think I forgot about you! Thank you all for love and support! Hope you like it!

* * *

He felt his palms start to sweat as he heard his father unlock it. 

 

“Oh,” Alan growled, even as he swayed slightly, “It’s you.”

 

Jensen nodded, unsure of what else he could have possibly done.

 

When his father grumbled and walked away Jensen glanced once at Jared over his shoulder and followed him into the house. He had some things to say, and he wasn’t leaving until he said them.

 

“Did you know?” His father swayed drunkenly, and he pointed an angry finger towards Jensen.

 

“Did I know what?”

 

“How dare you look at me in that tone of voice!” His father yelled, “And don’t play stupid- Did you know that Mackenzie ran away? Must have been the day after you left,” he fell down into his seat, still glaring angrily at his son.

 

“Mackenzie ran away after _I_ left?” Jensen repeated back at him. 

 

“Probably went after you,” Alan slurred, picking up another beer.

 

Jensen could feel relief in every pore of his body. Alan thought that Mackenzie ran away after Jensen left home. Now, Jen never thought he would, but part of him had to thank Josh for setting the precedent of leaving without a word. 

 

On the flipside though, if he said everything he’d come to say… Mackenzie, Alan would know that Mackenzie was with him. Fuck.

 

Jensen did think he’d really ever get passed every thing that happened, not without telling Alan everything that was on his mind.

 

Maybe if he could just make it sound like he blamed his sister running away on his father… Maybe then he could say everything that he wanted to without giving them away.

 

But, fuck, was he willing to risk it? Even with Alan as drunk as he was, only one thing needed to get his suspicions raised or make him the slightest bit angry and he would run with it. 

 

No, then, he wasn’t willing to risk it. 

 

He’d come here to make himself fell better, but if it came down to his sister… Then he wasn’t willing to risk it, he wasn’t going to risk her, not while he didn’t have to.

 

Jensen wiped the sweat off his palms and scrubbed a hand over his face once before shifting slightly, “Well, I just came by to let you know that I was never coming back.

 

“And to apologize.”

 

Alan looked at him through glassy eyes, and Jensen felt himself square his shoulders. His father took another drink, “Oh, and why is that? Are you apologizing for ruining the Ackles name with your perversions?”

 

Jensen’s mouth filled with coppery fear, and anger; when he spoke his voice was low and hard, “Excuse me?”

 

Alan laughed, long and hard, yet there was no humor in the sound, “I think you heard me.”

 

“Loud and clear, I just can’t believe that out of the two people in this room you think that _I_ ruined the family name.”

 

Alan tried to stand, but quickly fell back into his seat, his face red with his anger, “How _dare_ you look at me in that tone of voice!”

 

Jensen was sure he would have seen humor in that ridiculous statement, but he couldn’t see it just now; he was blinded by his rage. “Fuck you,” he growled.

 

And that’s when Alan lunged. Jensen sneered as he stepped back and watched his father slam to the floor, he was so far gone at this point that he didn’t even catch himself.

 

“How dare you come into my home and disrespect me. You little son of a bitch.”

 

“You really want to call Mom a bitch, Alan?” Jensen’s voice was low, but Alan heard him.

 

“I did no such thing,” Alan sputtered, trying to get back up, succeeding on the fourth try.

 

“So you called yourself a bitch?”

 

“Fuck you,” Alan hissed, swaying in place. “It wasn’t but yesterday that I was wiping the floor with you.”

 

“Because I let you,” Jensen stood his ground.

 

Alan growled a laugh, attempting to throw a punch as he did. Jensen once again stepped just out of reach.

 

Alan threw another punch, the smile dropping from his face. Jensen didn’t even have to move his aim was so far off.

 

There was anger in the last punch, and Jensen caught it, quickly grabbing it and pulling Alan ‘round so that his arm was twisted painfully round his back and held high there to send aches shooting up his arms.

 

Alan sputtered angrily, and Jensen forced an easy sounding laugh. He leaned foreword, whispering in Alan’s ear, “I rest my case. I took what I had to to make sure that you wouldn’t lay a hand on your daughter.”

 

Alan stopped his jerky movements and Jensen released his arm, giving him a sharp shove away. Even though he was in control having his father pressed that close to him made him feel dirty.

 

“Forget my face.” Jensen commanded, backing out and hurrying from his house.

 

Jensen slowed his movements as he left his old home, hopefully forever.

 

He walked to the car and opened the driver’s side door, Jared was still leaning over as he’d just unlocked the door. Jensen closed the door behind him and quickly grabbed Jared’s arm so that Jared couldn’t move out of place.

 

Jared’s eyes were soft, but filled with a little fear as well. Jensen leaned to meet Jared, his other hand smoothing a line over Jared’s cheek.

 

Jared leaned into the touch, sliding just a little closer.

 

Jensen closed the distance, unable not to. As he started sliding closer, he caught sight of Alan in the doorway. He closed his eyes, meeting Jared’s lips and opening them quickly with his tongue. Jared whimpered into his mouth, scooting closer.

 

Jensen moved his hand from where it had been clutching Jared arm up and around so that all but one finger was hidden under Jared’s hair. The intensity of the kiss rose as he realized that he was flicking Alan off as he carefully exploited his ‘perversions’.

 

Nothing had ever tasted so sweet as Jared’s lips and revenge.

 

Jared broke the kiss, his breathing ragged and harsh. Jensen smiled, pressing his forehead to his boyfriends, and gave him another kiss, this one quick and gentle.

 

Jared was smiling when Jen pulled back and opened his eyes, and Jensen had to smile as well. The younger boy radiated joy now.

 

Jensen turned the key in the ignition and looked over at Jared, “I was thinking we’d take the long way, yeah? Might be the last time in a while I’m here.”

 

Jared nodded, knowing it was bittersweet for both of them. Jensen nodded back and looked in the rearview mirror. But not before he realized Alan wasn’t in the doorway any longer. Somehow that was more frightening than when he was.

 

And take the long way they did. They took the road that was rarely used passed the valley. It was paved right on the edge of the cliff, and at one point there was a sharp turn, Dead Man’s Curve. It was so sharp that you weren’t even allowed to drive it until you had your license, no temps allowed on Dead Man’s. So sharp it was that you had to go about five miles an hour to pass it safely. Scariest damn thing Jensen had ever been on, including all the rollercoaster’s he’d been on when his mom was alive (she was a big fan).

 

After Dead Man’s, and the look of joy and appreciation on Jared’s face, Jensen promised to take the long way back as well so that Jared could look down into the valley once more. Jared’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, and Jensen felt his soul soar.

 

They continued on their way up the cliff, and then down through the park, whizzing by trees. It all smelled so clean and the green seemed to go on forever. Jensen drove fast down the gently sloped curves, and Jared rolled down the windows, tilting his head back, his face a lit with a grin.

 

Jensen felt a smile curving his own cheeks as he pressed his foot down further speeding them more quickly down back towards town.

 

He turned them into the parking lot, and Jared glanced over at him, “We don’t really have to go.”

 

“Yeah, we do,” Jensen said, “If only so we can drive home.”

 

Jared couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him, “Well, if you insist.”

 

Jensen chuckled, and he pressed another kiss to his boyfriend’s lips after he pulled the key out of the ignition.

 

Jared kissed him back, but leapt from the car, walking quickly around to the other side, pulling Jensen out.

 

Jen didn’t mind though, he let himself be pulled this way and that. Finally able to make good on his promise, he won Jared a giant stuffed figure.

 

When he picked it out, he leaned close to Jared and whispered, “Because you’re my Superman.” As Jensen handed it to him, Jared kissed him quickly, and then ran a hand across the yellow ‘S’ Superman logo chest plate. Jared couldn’t help but flush deliciously as he held the stuffed Superman to his chest. 

 

Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s temple and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “Where to next, darlin’?”

 

Jared ran a hand over the Superman logo again and smiled hugely at Jensen, “Let’s go on some rides. I promise to pretend to be really scared and press against you the whole time if we go on the rollercoaster.”

 

“Hmm,” Jensen said, “I suppose we’d better ride that a few dozen times then.”

 

Jared laughed again, and hugging the Superman to his chest with one arm, he grabbed Jensen’s hand with the other and started tugging him towards the coaster.

 

They’d finally landed themselves in the coaster when a deep cool fear filled Jensen, he immediately pulled Jared closer. 

 

“I thought I was supposed to be the scared one,” Jared teased, but then he saw Jensen’s face. “Jen? What’s wrong, baby?”

 

“N-Nothing,” he breathed, unable to believe he’d seen what he thought he’d seen.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah,” Jensen said, forcing a smile. “You sure you’re ready for this?”

 

“I dunno,” Jared said, “You might have to hold me real tight, just in case.”

 

“I think I can handle that,” Jensen said, pulling him close.

 

But the more time they spent at the carnival, the more Jensen saw his father here and there.

 

First on the rollercoaster, then when he bought Jared some cotton candy, again at the Ferris wheel, at the dart game, the water gun racer game, over and over again.

 

Jensen thought he was losing his mind. He hurried to the bathroom so that he could stick his head under the faucet, hopefully regain some sanity. As he held the cool water on, his head in the sink, a group of boy walked in.

 

“I can’t believe that fag Ackles actually brought a date here,” boy one scoffed.

 

“I can’t believe he’s dating jailbait out there, that guy’s so young he’s still stroking the stupid stuffed thing,” the second ranted.

 

“Faggots,” a third chimed in, obviously less than half a brain sloshing around up there.

 

Jensen pulled his head up, ignoring the water as it dripped down his face and neck, “I didn’t quite hear you,” he growled, “Care to repeat yourself?” The three boys looked stricken in their letter jackets. “Yeah, that’s kinda what I thought.” The group booked pretty quick, and Jensen had to grin a little. He turned back to the mirror, smile still on his face.

 

But it dropped as his heart did when he saw his reflection, over his shoulder he saw father standing in the door of a bathroom stall.


	12. Chapter 12

  
Author's notes: For my friend 'Jensen', " **Magos186** ", " **Chiazu** ". Y'all rock my socks!

* * *

Jensen turned sharply, facing his father and effectively pulling his arm out of reach.

 

Alan didn’t stumble, matter of fact, he looked downright _sober_?

 

“Jensen, please, hear me out-”

 

Jensen laughed shortly, mirthlessly, “What for?”

 

“Because I asked you to, and you’re my son.”

 

“You really think playing the father card is the smartest thing to do after some of the things you’ve done to me, put me through?”

 

“It’s the only thing I can think of; please, Jensen…”

 

“No, I’ve got nothing to say to you.” It was a lie, of course; but again, he had Mackenzie to think of.

 

“Jensen-”

 

“ _No_ ,” he said sharply, turning again to leave.

 

“Please, forgive me, Jensen; for everything, you didn’t deserve it- Any of it.”

 

“Two things, _Dad_ ,” he stretched the word sarcastically, “One, I wouldn’t forgive you if I did believe you, and, two, I don’t believe you. So no.”

 

Jensen left, hurrying to Jared’s side. “Well, babe,” he said, forcing smile and breezy tone, “What do you say we blow this popsicle stand?”

 

“Sounds good, I’ve got my Superman,” he looked at Jensen, “Oh, and that stuffed animal you promised.”

 

Jensen chuckled and walked Jared back to the car without a kiss, too much worrying him to deal with the looks. At least there were only looks, he knew this was one time he should be grateful for his reputation at this point; only getting dirty looks deep in Texas as an out gay man was not always what was to be expected, but the fact that it was known he could kick some serious ass ensured that that was indeed all the flack he caught, and Jared by association it seemed.

 

They again drove at least double the speed limit up the curving gentle slopes through the park, but as they slowed to a crawl around Dead Man’s curve, Jensen was surprised to have the clean air scent over powered by the strong wafting scent of smoke.

 

It was soon clear as to why, the barrier blocking the deep crevice from the road was broken, burnt rubber tire tracks showed that the driver had very belatedly slammed on the breaks.

 

“Fuck,” Jensen murmured, and once he was passed the smoking wreck in the gully he doubled the speed limit the rest of the road down.

 

There was no joy on Jared’s face this time, no fun in the air as they drove now. And Jensen drove faster still, turning as soon as he could at the pay phone he dialed 911 and told them of what he’d seen.

 

As soon as he heard sirens he got back in the car and drove away, he’d dealt with one police officer when he’d gotten suspended and he didn’t want to again; the man was a homophobic prick, and high school reputations weren’t worth a thing when your enemy had almost the entire police force behind him.

 

Jared looked at him oddly, but didn’t question; he knew Jensen well enough at this point to know that he didn’t make moves without reason.

 

When they got back to the house, Megan made fun of Jared a little for not releasing the Superman doll, but one look from Jensen shut her up pretty quick. Josh teased Jen about it though, and Jen couldn’t help but blush.

 

Soon after, they said their goodnights and headed upstairs.

 

“Midget? What’re you still doing up?” Jensen asked, surprised to see her pacing back and forth as she nibbled her pinky nail.

 

“I… I want my pictures, Jensen,” she whispered, her voice so quiet that Jen almost didn’t hear her.

 

“Your pictures? Why don’t you have them?”

 

She hid her face behind her hair, “I took them out to look at them and I fell asleep, I forgot to put them back into my run bag.”

 

“Oh, sweetie,” Jensen hugged her close, “We can get those before we go, okay? I’ll grab them, I’ll go in through the window, okay? Don’t worry, midge.”

 

She looked at him, “You aren’t angry?”

 

“Of course not,” Jensen said, giving her another squeeze.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second, Jen?” Jared’s voice was quiet when it drifted to him.

 

“Sure,” Jensen said, and gave Mackenzie one more tight squeeze before he released her. He walked over to Jared, and ran a finger over Jared’s Superman, “What’s up?”

 

“Well, I was just thinking that I’m pretty wired, and you’re pretty wired, and I know that you were jumpy all night… Even I thought I saw your dad a few times… Look, everyone’s awake, and I know you’ll feel safer with him in your rearview mirror… Why don’t we just leave now?” Jared glanced at the glowing alarm clock, “He’s probably passed out by now… Why not?”

 

Jensen ran his hands up Jared’s arms and then down to his hands, “Are you sure?”

 

Jared nodded, “Positive.”

 

“Okay, then.” Jensen turned, “You want to go get the pictures now, ‘Kenzie? We can leave for San Antonio tonight, if you like.”

 

“Really, Jen?”

 

“Only if you want to, Midget.” Mackenzie nodded.

 

“Okay, let’s go say goodbye then,” Jensen said, and they did.

 

Mackenzie hugged Sherry out of obligation, but stayed close to Jensen after that. Jared hugged everyone long and hard telling everyone how much he’d miss them, all the while pretending he wasn’t blinking back tears. Jensen’s goodbye was someplace in the middle though, he hugged Sherry, and shook hands with Jerry and Josh, respecting them all too much for words.

 

The Padaleckis -minus Jared, of course- waved goodbye from the end of the driveway as they pulled out and headed towards their new life, one pit stop on the way.

 

Jared was tense, his arms tight around his Superman. Mackenzie was just as tense, her arms locked around her ragged teddy bear. Jensen’s own knuckles were white on the steering wheel. 

 

When they turned on to their old street, Jensen flicked the lights off, and then shifted to neutral and just let them glide up the drive way silently. He slowed the car to a stop and turned it off, turning to look at them both in turn. Then he looked forwards again, “No one but me gets in this car, and no one but me leaves this car. Clear?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Crystal,” Jared said, knowing Jensen would turn to give him a look. When he did, Jared used it as an excuse to press his lips to Jen’s, easing him slightly, easing _both_ of them slightly.

 

Jensen released Jared and climbed out, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. He waited until Jared leaned across and locked the door before he hurried to the lattice on the side of the porch and climbed up as quietly as he could. Then he hurried across the roof and slipped in his room. 

 

Alan had obviously been there, probably looking for money. It was rather lucky his father was allergic to corn, that a little bit of knowledge was what had given them the little amount of money they ad to start on.

 

“Fuck,” Jensen whispered, and stilled, listening to the house. The fridge was humming, and every now and then it would settle a little, but there was no sound of his father walking around.

 

Not that there should have been, his father’s car hadn’t even been in the drive way.

 

He hurried to Mackenzie’s room and flicked his lighter, using the small flame to try and find her prized scrapbook. She and his mother had started it, Mackenzie continuing to add on to it after her death. Like Jensen’s drawing of his mother, it made her feel close to her mother again.

 

He’d just found it, she’d tucked it under her pillow, when someone knocked on the door. He dropped it in surprise, “Fuck!” Even his exclamation was quiet.

 

He was sure, now, that he’d been seen climbing into his window. Damn busy body neighbors notice this but not the years of abuse?

 

He waited without breath for his father to answer the door.

 

“Jensen?” He froze at his name, it wasn’t his father, but Jared that called his name.

 

Jensen picked the scrapbook up and hurried to the front door, “I thought I told you to- Oh…” Jensen stopped speaking as the door revealed his boyfriend, his sister and “Officer? May I help you?”

 

“Could we speak inside for a moment, son?”

 

Jensen stepped back and held the door open wider, “Of course.”

 

Mackenzie was white as a sheet as she walked in, clutching Jensen and Jared’s hands in each of hers. Jared shut the door behind them, and they all stepped into the hall, and then on to the living room.

 

“You may want to sit down for this,” the officer said, and so they did, Mackenzie safely tucked between Jensen and Jared. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard this yet, but there was an accident tonight.” Jensen and Jared shared a cursory glance, and then looked back at the officer. “It appears… Oh, God, I’m sorry… I don’t really know how to say this…” The officer pulled in a deep breath, “I’m sorry to inform you that Dead Man’s curve claimed your father this evening…”

 

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Jensen murmured, “When?” Mackenzie burst into tears, burying her head on Jensen’s legs as she folded herself in half.

 

The officer looked so apologetically at Mackenzie even though she couldn’t see it, but answered Jensen all the same, “The accident was called in anonymously around 10 pm, but the damage caused by the fire… It’s believed that the accident happened around 7 pm that evening, possible earlier.”

 

Jensen fought to keep his face blank, “I’m sorry… But do you mind stepping out for a moment?” 

 

“Of course not,” the officer looked sad, “I have to radio in anyhow, I’ll be back in just a moment.”

 

Jensen nodded, “Thank you, sir.”

 

After the officer was out of the room, Mackenzie lifted her head, a huge smile on her face, tears streaming down her face as she hugged Jensen tightly, “We don’t have to leave now!”

 

“Oh, thank god,” Jensen murmured, hugging his sister tightly. 

 

Had his father still been the man he’d been when his mother was alive, Jensen knew that neither of them would have been happy to hear this… But now, after the things that he had put them through, the two Ackles children couldn’t help but feel somehow relieved.

 

Jared hugged Jensen tightly, reaching over Mackenzie to do so. Mackenzie slipped back a little and made it so that all three were hugging.

 

That is what they were doing when the officer returned; the tears he saw on the two Ackles’ faces made him stop and head back out again.

 

“He’ll never touch you again,” Mackenzie murmured in wonderment.

 

“And we don’t have to leave now,” Jensen murmured back, “I can keep you safe here, nothing can hurt you anymore, baby girl.”

 

Mackenzie couldn’t not laugh at that, and the laughter was as infectious as the relief they all felt. They were all safe now. Finally they were safe.


	13. Chapter 13, The Epilogue

  
Author's notes: Again, " **Magos186** " 'Jensen'... You guys... Love ya! Thanks for the support, love, and cheering on all along the way!

* * *

Epilogue

 

Somewhere along the way, Jensen did forgive his father though. He couldn’t even tell you when it was, just that it had happened.

 

He knew it had earlier that morning.

 

It was Christmas eve, and Mackenzie had come for the holiday with her husband and newborn in tow. Tristan Ross was the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen, named after what Mackenzie said were the two best brothers and father figures a girl could have.

 

After their father died ten years ago, the courts searched for Josh, but unable to find him or and updated will from their father, Jensen had inherited everything.

 

He sold the house first thing, knowing it would be better not to live in a place with all these memories of beatings and violence that over shadowed the good memories they had.

 

Jared had moved back in with his parents, it was only right, but the two men saw each other every day and Jared moved in with Jensen the day he turned 18. Sherry and Jerry hadn’t minded, they had Jared, Jensen, and Mackenzie over for dinner every Sunday.

 

With the money from the house Jensen rented a nice two bedroom apartment just down the street from the high school, knowing that by the time ‘Kenzie started school there, she wouldn’t need her big brother to walk her.

 

And was right. In eight grade, she’d met a boy named Eric and the two fell hard for each other. When she turned 18, Jensen and Jared drove the two to Vegas to get married.

 

Jensen couldn’t have been happier if he tried, at least he didn’t think so, but then he looked at Jared and saw the same look on his face.

 

“Jared, promise to be mine as long as we both shall live?”

 

Jared nodded, and though it wasn’t legally recognized, everyone they knew said it was about time that they got hitched.

 

Josh had hunted Jensen down earlier that year to apologize, but Jensen wouldn’t hear it. “Just come on down for Christmas and we’ll call it even.”

 

Josh was set to arrive just after they were due back from the Padalecki’s from dinner.

 

Jeff had two sons of his own now, Steven and Dean, after his wife’s two favorite authors Dean Koontz and Steven King. Megan was unmarried, but she brought her boyfriend to Christmas dinner as well.

 

Jensen and Mackenzie were proud to be surrogate children of the Padalecki family, and the Padalecki family was happy to have them.

 

Sometime after Mackenzie moved in with Eric, Jensen and Jared bought a little house a short ways from Jared’s parents place.

 

They wanted to adopt, but money was a little tight right after they bought the house. Now, if anyone knew how to make a dollar go its farthest, it was certainly Jensen, but all the same they decided to wait. Jared was in school, going to be an English teacher, maybe teach drama on the side.

 

Jensen never graduated, got his GED instead and quickly got a job as a softball coach at the local gym, he worked nights at the garage now and then when money got exceptionally tight. The older men he coached respected him despite his age, and Jen loved the atmosphere on the field.

 

Yes, as Jensen felt Jared shift closer to him this Christmas night, he realized somewhere along the way that he’d forgiven Alan long ago.

 

Because in some twisted sense, if Alan hadn’t done the things he’d done, Jensen would never have missed that much school and had his beautiful tutor assigned to him. Without Alan doing what he’d done, Jensen never would have become the man he was, and Jared wouldn’t have look at him twice he was sure.

 

If Alan hadn’t pushed him… Jensen never would have fallen, and Jared never would have caught him. He could only thank God that he’d fallen. Because to be caught, one did have to fall after all.


End file.
